State of Grace
by bravevulnerability
Summary: 'Kate Beckett is simultaneously a mom and a homicide detective, in no way does she have time for a relationship, let alone with someone like Castle and definitely not now, during the hectic holiday season. Even if he could apparently make her daughter smile easier than anyone else has in a long time.' An AU story for Christmas.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Over the last couple of years, I've fallen into the habit of writing a fic centered around Christmas that I can share on a daily basis during this time of year, and I truly hope this year's contribution doesn't disappoint. This idea was inspired by a prompt found on the 'castlefanficprompts' tumblr page, which I will be sharing at the end of the story.**

 **And lastly, this piece is for all who have made this past year so special with your wonderful and unwavering support, kindness, and friendship. Words cannot express my gratitude, but t** **hank you all, for everything.**

* * *

 _"And I never saw you coming,_

 _And I'll never be the same,_

 _This is a state of grace,_

 _This is the worthwhile fight…_

 _This is the golden age of something good and right and real"_

 _\- 'State of Grace', Taylor Swift_

* * *

Kate guides her daughter through the sea of early Christmas shoppers on the sidewalk and lingering Black Friday buyers still searching for those leftover deals, continuing to check through the corner of her eye as Grace allows her gaze to wander over the plethora of holiday decorations slowly overtaking the city.

"Hungry yet, bud?" she inquires, squeezing Grace's small hand and she squeezes back, but merely shakes her head in reply.

Kate holds back her sigh.

The past three months have been hard on her and Grace, so many changes taking place, heartache a prominent companion for them both, and as much as she wishes the love she has for the little girl walking alongside her while they enter the department store was enough, she already knows it's not. It cleaves her heart in two, stains her pillow with tears nearly every night.

The store is almost as - if not more than - packed as the streets and Kate bends to scoop Grace into her arms before she can become swept up in the tide of human traffic, propping the lanky seven year old on her hip and pressing a kiss to her temple when she rests her head to Kate's shoulder.

"We'll just look around for Grandpa's present and then we'll head home, okay?" Kate assures her, intending to search for a present for her dad, but her true reason for coming into this area of the city today had been to hopefully offer Grace the opportunity for some Christmas spirit.

The tree at Rockefeller was up, the one in Bryant Park too, and most of the major department stores they never stepped foot in had magnificent displays in every window, so Kate had purposely walked her daughter past a few of them, playing tourist on her day off.

Kate had never been one for miracles, let alone the Christmas themed ones, but she wanted nothing more than for Grace to have a good Christmas this year to combat all of the negativity that has plagued them this past year. Her daughter has yet to manage more than a waning quirk of her lips, though.

"Can we make hot chocolate when we get there?" Grace asks, lacing her arms around Kate's neck.

"Sure." Beckett adjusts her hold, still trying to accept that Grace is growing too fast, too tall and heavy to be carried in her mother's arms, and drifts towards the men's section. "We can watch a movie too."

"A Christmas one?"

"Duh," she answers, and while her daughter has seemingly lost the ability to smile over the last few months, she tries, compensating with a kiss to her mother's cheek.

"Love you, Momma," Grace whispers and Kate holds her daughter a little tighter, exhales silently through her nose.

Grace is a smart kid, so very bright and bubbling with potential, but ever since Will…

Her ex had done a number on their daughter, his own aspirations always coming before his family, and after Will had missed one too many of his every other weekend visits, missed Grace's summer dance recital, missed her birthday last month - her daughter had developed a broken heart courtesy of her own father.

Kate had never cared what Will thought of her, how he treated her; they hadn't been a couple in years, not since he'd accepted the job offer in Boston over a decade ago now, and it wasn't until she had made the foolish decision of sleeping with him when he returned for the Angela Candela case seven years ago that any form of connection had held.

That connection being the little girl born of the mistake that had turned into the most unexpected piece of joy in her life.

She and Will had agreed to co-parent separately, no interest in a relationship existing on either end (well, not on hers. It had taken Will a bit of time to stop pursuing the idea of them being a 'happy family' he'd never really planned to partake in), but the father of her child often failed to uphold his end of the bargain.

No, she doesn't care how Will treats her, but his treatment of Grace had always been a priority for Kate, and while he wasn't necessarily a bad father, he wasn't a good one either.

He was decent when he was around, but his presence in Grace's life was so rare, Kate has felt like a single-parent since her daughter had been born - and Will hadn't even made it to the hospital in time, arriving to visit Grace in the nursery a day late.

She doesn't need him, but Grace did. Grace wanted her father and her father had made her feel wholly unwanted nearly two months ago, the last time either of them had seen the man, and she had witnessed the withdraw, the struggle to find joy, to be the exuberant little girl Kate knew her to be. Will had always unintentionally knocked Grace down a few notches, often dropping her off from his weekend visit with their daughter barely able manage more than a faint lift of her lips, but when he'd walked out with such finality, she had failed to bounce back quite as easily.

The impending arrival of the holidays wasn't necessarily helping matters.

"I love her, Kate. I do, but-"

"There shouldn't be a _but_ , Will. She's your daughter, she's-"

"Better off with you. Just you. Look, I'll keep up the child support, double it if you want, but I can't… I'm not benefiting Grace and she isn't benefiting me."

She had slapped him. Hard.

And he had taken it, his jaw squaring with the sting, but the way he had spoken about their daughter, as if she was an inconvenience-

"Look, you know the psychology as well as I do, and we both know that me coming in and out of Grace's life is just going to ruin her," Will had reasoned, genuinely believing he was doing the right thing by permanently withdrawing from their daughter's life, but Kate had only been able to stare back at him incredulously, unable to comprehend how he couldn't love their child as much as she did. "I'm never here, Kate. You are and you're a good mom. That's what she deserves."

"You won't even try for her," Kate had rasped, shaking her head in disbelief, but she wasn't going to fight him anymore because he was right about one thing.

Grace deserved better.

Kate bends once they're deep in the men's department, out of the throngs of human traffic, and places her Grace back on her feet, dusts another kiss to the top of her head.

"Love you too, beautiful girl," she murmurs, smoothing back the fringe of her daughter's bangs and reclaiming her hand, too paranoid about losing her in the store after all of the kidnapping cases she's witnessed and worked.

Grace trails along patiently by her side, swinging their clasped hands, swaying to the Christmas music floating through the air. Kate's examining a coat she can picture her dad wearing when she hears her daughter gasp, and immediately cuts her gaze to Grace, but the girl staring ahead, balanced on her tiptoes to watch the man a few feet away trying his best to right the giant toy soldier that is wobbling precariously.

There's a redheaded teenager standing beside him, covering her face with her hands, but there's laughter in her cheeks, and then there's laughter spilling free from Grace's lips.

Kate nearly gapes at her daughter, giggling quietly at the man who's making quite the show of struggling with the massive decoration, purposely embarrassing who she assumes is his own daughter, and in turn, eliciting an elusive sound of joy from hers.

The man, a somewhat familiar looking man, succeeds in placing the soldier upright once more, but its tall, black hat tumbles free, rolls towards Kate and her daughter, who releases her hand to race for it.

"Grace," she huffs, slinging the coat back onto the wrack and trotting after her daughter to keep up with her. "Hey, wait up."

"I'm helping, Momma," she volleys back over her shoulder, stopping to bend in front of the cylinder hat fixture that's practically the length of her entire body, and wrapping both arms around the piece.

By the time Grace is standing with the thing and Kate has caught up with her, so has the joker who somehow made her daughter laugh.

"Hey there, thank you so much," the man… oh, no, not just a man after all. Her favorite author, the face she's often seen on the back of her favorite book jackets, Richard Castle.

The rare sight of Grace with a genuine smile on her face has receded, but she manages a shy lift of her lips for the man who relieves her of the headpiece, offering his own smile in return.

"You're welcome," Grace whispers, walking backwards until she bumps into Kate's legs, tilting her head back against her mother's thigh to look up at her. "See? I helped."

"Yes, you did," Richard Castle chimes in, the teenager Kate had noticed earlier approaching from behind, shooting Kate a sheepish smile over her father's shoulder while the author grins at her. "Hi, sorry about that."

"Nothing to be sorry for," Kate shrugs, because really, if anything, it's the opposite and she wishes she could tell him that, share the miracle of her daughter's laughter with someone else. "Thanks for making her laugh."

Rick Castle's grin widens and he beams down at Grace before glancing over his shoulder to smirk at the girl now at his side. "At least _someone_ still finds me funny."

"Try living with him," the girl responds, but amusement lines her mouth, affection in her eyes before they subtly widen. "Dad, we're being so rude! Hi, I'm Alexis."

The girl, Alexis, sticks her hand out with a polite smile and Kate has no choice but to accept, shaking the teenager's hand while Grace inches closer, her lips curling ever so slightly in the corners when Alexis grasps her hand too.

"And I'm her dad, Rick," Castle introduces, unnecessarily, but Kate nods her greeting, drops her hands to Grace's thin shoulders.

"Kate. And this is Grace."

There is a part of her that so badly wants to ask him to stick around, share the secret on how to bring joy to her heartbroken child with such ease, but she bites her bottom lip, swallows it down. He may be a best-selling author with a daughter of his own, but he was still a stranger and-

"You're the guy on Mommy's books."

Kate's cheeks catch fire the second the words are out of her daughter's mouth, the flames cascading down the skin of her throat when Rick directs his attention to her with the mischief twinkling in his eyes like the Christmas lights decorating every inch of the store.

"Oh?"

Kate sputters, tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "No, that's not-"

"Isn't he?" Grace inquires with a furrowed brow, tilting her head back against Kate's thighs again, and she sighs in defeat, keeps her eyes on her kid to avoid the embarrassment of meeting Richard Castle's.

"Yeah, sweets. Good memory," Kate smiles softly, grateful for the dull glimmer of pride in her daughter's eyes, self-confidence not too frequent of a visitor for her these days.

"You read my books?" Castle asks, satisfaction in his gaze that irks her, but pure curiosity as well, interest, and tenderness when his eyes flicker between Kate and her daughter.

"On occasion," she muses. "They're not too bad."

"Not too bad?" he echoes, raising a hand to his chest before transferring both palms to Alexis's head, covering her ears. "You'd insult me like this in front of my own child?"

"Dad," Alexis groans, swatting at his hands until he releases her.

"Teenagers," he mutters, bumping his daughter's shoulder while Kate spares a glance at Grace, catching sight of not only the amusement swirling through her features, but the longing.

The image of what a father and daughter should be.

"Care to give me a more detailed review of my books?" Castle quips, nodding towards the exit to the store, and Kate instantly opens her mouth to decline when he continues. "Alexis and I were going to grab something to eat. You guys are more than welcome to join us."

Grace doesn't say it, but she looks up at Kate, gentle pleading in her eyes, but she won't ask, always unwilling to ask for anything. Something that needs to be remedied.

"What do you think, bud?" Kate murmurs, arching her brow when Grace hesitates. "We can hang out with Alexis and Mr. Castle for a few minutes if you want."

"What about Grandpa's present?" she whispers and Kate combs her fingers through the chestnut locks of Grace's hair, short and curling just below her ears.

"We can come back, I don't think I was going to find something for him today anyway," Kate assures her and Grace chews on her bottom lip, a habit she undoubtedly picked up from Kate, and nods her head.

"Okay."

"Any preferences?" Castle inquires, meeting Kate's eyes, a look of approval and intrigue in his gaze, before hooking an arm through his daughter's and leading the way out of the store.

* * *

Kate quickly comes to realize throughout the hour they spend at the diner that Grace Beckett adores Richard Castle and his daughter, Alexis, warming to the two far faster than she's ever witnessed her take to people she's never met.

And aside from the gain of her daughter's approval and the foreign ability to elicit a true smile Kate hasn't seen more than mere traces of in far too long, Beckett finds that she likes the father and daughter too, wouldn't mind seeing them again.

"Walk you guys to the subway?" Rick asks once dinner is finished and paid for, the check split upon her insistence, another instance that had him looking at her with those golden flecks of intrigue in his eyes, something she wanted to examine more closely and run from at the same time.

"Sure," Kate replies, adjusting the knit beanie on Grace's head, ensuring the tiny shells of her ears are adequately covered before allowing her daughter to hop down from her chair.

"Momma, can I walk with Alexis?" Grace asks as they start down the sidewalk, the sun beginning to set and the frigid chill of December sweeping through the air.

Kate glances up from her daughter's request to locate the teenager only a few steps ahead, nodding in reply when Beckett subtly quirks one of her eyebrows in question, and offering her gloved hand out for the younger girl.

"Yeah, just stay close," she agrees, releasing Grace's hand and letting her skip ahead to latch onto Alexis's.

"Well, looks like you found yourself a potential future babysitter," Castle chuckles from beside her, his hands in his coat pockets and his eyes soft on his daughter and hers. "You're a good mom, by the way."

"And you're a good dad," she parrots, stealing a glance of him from the corner of her eye. "Thank you."

"For what? You wouldn't let me pay for dinner," he huffs and Kate rolls her eyes, nudges him with the bump of her elbow.

"For inviting us to dinner and - and for making Grace smile so much," she murmurs, pursing her lips against the cold, against the inquisitive flicker of his eyes on her.

"Bad day?" he asks softly, and oh, how she wishes it were just that.

"Bad month," she corrects with a rueful smile. "She's… she's an extraordinary little girl, but she doesn't believe it. Not anymore."

"Why not? Like I said, you're a great mom and you're… oh."

"Oh?" she hums, curving her brow in question, wondering if he's really just figured them out so easily.

"Someone made her doubt it, someone close to her," he murmurs, his lips falling into a frown as those bright blue eyes drift back towards her daughter. "It wasn't you, doubt it was the grandfather you mentioned earlier, so I'd assume-"

"The father," she nods before he can say it, listening to him sigh, the expelled breath creating a blooming cloud from his lips in the dying light.

"Alexis's mother… she was the same," Rick admits, much to her surprise, and she wonders if his heart cracked in the same way for Alexis that hers promptly does, imagining his daughter once feeling the way Grace does now.

"How'd you help her?" Kate breathes, praying for an answer, needing it. "How'd you fix it?"

Castle turns to meet her eyes, offering her a gentle smile, one that lets her down and comforts her in the same instance.

"You don't fix it, you can't, but as for helping her? You already are, Kate," he states, the conviction brimming in his irises. "Whatever her dad did, whatever he said that inflicted that wound, will always be there, but if you keep being the parent she needs, the mother she deserves, she'll be okay. You both will."

She's surprised - horrified - when she has to blink to dispel the sting of moisture blurring her view of the city lights all around them, the threat of tears, but it's just… it's really good to hear someone tell her it's going to be okay.

"Yeah?" she whispers, watching the fiery curtain of Alexis's hair shining at her back, Grace's dark honey curls brushing her scarf as the two walk side by side, infusing her with a foreign sense of hope.

"Trust me," Castle promises her, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder, burn through her coat with the warmth of his touch, and Kate turns her head to meet the encouraging blues of his eyes gleaming in the grey of dusk, the curve of his mouth like the crescent of the moon, and she finds that she actually wants to.

Trust him, she wants to trust him.

"Think we can see you guys again?"

Castle beams at her, a lovely beacon in the darkness. "I was _really_ hoping you'd ask that before I had to."


	2. Chapter 2

Grace is skipping around the apartment in a way she hasn't in weeks, the skirt of her dress whispering along her knees and the toes of her miniature ankle boots tapping along the wooden floors, and Kate huffs from her bedroom as the girl glides by.

"What has you in such a mood?" she chuckles, waiting for Grace to backtrack to the doorway, the coal grey skirt falling to rest against the warm fabric of her tights.

"I'm just excited for dinner," Grace quips, leaning against the frame of the door while Kate attempts to tame the curls of her hair, the strands rebelling, causing her to worry way too much about her appearance.

It was just an innocent dinner with the Castles, mostly for Grace's benefit, but she still tugged at the purple fabric of her favorite sweater, frowned at her reflection, and growled at the renegade curls of her hair.

"Momma, are you nervous?"

Kate lifts her gaze from the mirror on her closet door, swinging it to the little girl watching her with a look that is far too knowing for a seven year old.

"No, why would I be nervous?" she counters, giving up on her hair and stepping away from the closet, tucking the chain with her mother's ring beneath the neck of her sweater.

"Because Mr. Castle will be there," Grace answers with the corner of her mouth twitching, the beginnings of a smirk.

Kate rolls her eyes and lowers to sit on the edge of her bed, tug on her boots. "You're being silly."

"Am not," Grace denies, entering her mother's room and plopping down on the bed next to Kate, bouncing into her side. "He looks at you with starry eyes."

"He looks at everyone with starry eyes," Kate chuckles, well aware of Richard Castle's reputation.

Granted, she hadn't seen a hint of that man around his daughter last week when they had met amidst the post-Thanksgiving madness of the shopping center. But just because Castle could behave around his daughter, around Beckett and hers, didn't mean the jackass she saw in TV interviews and Page Six didn't exist, and she wouldn't subject herself to such a risk. No matter how he looked at her.

"Momma, when was the last time you were in love?"

Kate lifts her eyes to the ceiling, cursing Richard Castle for unintentionally inspiring these questions, this uncharacteristic train of thought in her daughter. The last thing she wanted was for Grace to begin fantasizing about her mother falling in love with the writer, to hope for them to become some big happy family, wanting something that could never happen.

She's simultaneously a mom and a homicide detective, in no way does she have time for a relationship, let alone with someone like Castle. Even if he could apparently make her daughter smile easier than anything – and anyone – else can.

"Grace, you do know Rick and I are only going to be friends, right? This isn't going to be a Disney movie," she warns and her kid huffs in exasperation.

"I know that," Grace states as if it's her mom who's being absolutely ridiculous, rolling her eyes and offering Kate a horrifying glimpse into the upcoming teenage years. "It was just a question."

"Questions always lead to more," Kate reminds her, sitting up and bumping her daughter's thin shoulder, watching her drop onto her back atop the bed, staring up at the ceiling and kicking her legs back and forth.

"I never want to fall in love," Grace proclaims. "I wanna be like Merida from _Brave_."

"Ah," Kate hums at the mention of the feisty redheaded princess from one of Grace's favorite movies. "Warrior princess then?"

"Yes," Grace agrees with relish, sitting up and adjusting her polka dot sweater across her torso. "I wanna be a badass like you-"

"Grace," she says sternly, earning a sigh of apology. "What have I told you?"

"Uncle Javi's the one who said-"

"Is Uncle Javi your mom?"

Grace pouts, dramatic and childish, refreshing. Kate's become so used to seeing her little girl acting so constantly grown up, bordering on too mature for a seven year old.

"No," she grumbles, hopping down from the bed as Kate rises, snagging her purse from the armchair near the bedroom door and shutting off the lights.

"Then no cursing. Or doing anything else he does."

Grace copies Kate and slips her coat on at the front door. "What about Uncle Ryan?"

A better example but-

"You're pushing it, kid."

A flicker of amusement dances along her daughter's lips, the closest thing to a smile Grace usually produces, and Kate brushes her thumb to her slightly raised cheek, nods towards the door.

"Now, come on. Don't want to be late," she murmurs and Grace walks through the door, waits in the hall while Kate locks up.

"But Momma?"

"Hmm?"

"You look really pretty."

Kate's mouth curves and she reaches forward to button the collar of Grace's coat.

"So do you, beautiful girl."

* * *

Richard Castle proves to be an amazing cook, filling her stomach with the best home-cooked meal she's had in ages.

She tries her best to cut back on the takeout for Grace's sake, to cook as much as she can, but at the precinct, especially during a rough case, she's more often than not stuck consuming the quickest options available. The homemade lasagna is a welcome change.

"You cook as good as my mom!" Grace informs Castle at the end of their meal and Kate blushes, shakes her head from her spot beside her daughter at the table.

"Grace-"

"Oh, really? You cook?" Castle questions across from her, impressed, and Beckett arches an eyebrow in reply.

"Yes, I cook. Whenever I'm home in time," she states, taking a slow sip of her water to wash down the final bite of her dinner. He had offered her wine, but she'd politely declined, unable to acquire a level of comfort when it came to drinking while her daughter was around, and she'd found it interesting that her choice had influenced his, had him putting the wine back on the rack.

"Right, because you're a detective," he relishes and Kate rolls her eyes, unable to comprehend his fascination with her profession.

Will had been the only man to ever accept her work, appreciating the level of understanding it had built between them from the beginning, but others had cringed at the job description. Castle, though, had been the first to practically glow with excitement when she'd answered his inquiry about her career during their dinner last week.

"Maybe Mr. Castle and Alexis can have dinner at our apartment someday," Grace suggests, a conflicting blend of shyness and hope flashing in her eyes as she casts them to Kate.

"Grace, you can call me Rick, remember?" Castle prompts, his voice kind, encouraging, and Grace nods sheepishly in reply. "Also, Alexis and I would love to have dinner at your apartment sometime, as long as it's okay with your mom."

"Depends on my work schedule, but we'll see," Kate answers with a small smile for her daughter and his, another eye roll for Castle who's practically preening at the idea of seeing her place, but Alexis is too quiet at the other end of the table, sitting across from Grace and pushing around the remainder of her food with her fork.

"Did you guys want dessert? Alexis and I made our famous cheesecake," Castle boasts, sneaking a glance to his daughter, and she smiles in response, but her heart's not in it and Beckett can see the worry that blooms in his eyes, spreads through the lines along his face, making him look so much older. "Want to help me serve, Pumpkin?"

"Is it okay if I go to my room, Dad? I'm not feeling so good," Alexis murmurs, worsening Castle's concern, but he nods.

"Of course. Here, let me just get this and I'll-"

"Grace and I can head out if you need-"

"No, no, it's fine," Alexis promises them all. "Just a long day at school and I'm really tired, but it was so good to see you guys again."

The smile Alexis offers the Becketts is genuine but strained, cracking at the edges, and Kate's gut churns with worry, fear that her and Grace's presence tonight wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Okay," Castle agrees reluctantly as Alexis rises to stand. "I'll be up to check on you in a few minutes then."

"Thanks, Dad," Alexis murmurs, walking around the table, pausing to give Grace a hug goodbye just as she had hugged the girl in greeting earlier, and starts for the stairs.

Kate stands to follow, appeasing Castle's questioning look and Grace's confused glance with a lift of her hand, hoping he'll trust her with his kid, trust that she would never say anything to upset Alexis; she only wants to assure her.

"Hey, Lex?"

Alexis stops on the first step, her eyes curious as she turns back to witness Kate approaching.

"Yes, Kate?"

"I just – I wanted to make sure you were comfortable with us being here," Beckett gets out, shifting a little awkwardly in front of the teenager who behaves so much more like a young adult, who makes her feel as if she's catching a glimpse of whom Grace could grow to mirror. "I know we're just two people you met in a store a week ago and-"

"Oh, you think… you think I don't like you and Grace?" Alexis asks incredulously, tilting her head to the side as if trying to study Kate for confirmation. "I'm not uncomfortable. I know Grace is nearly half my age, but sometimes she seems just as smart as some of my friends. And you're great too, Kate. I was excited for you guys to join us for dinner again tonight."

Beckett steps closer, checking over her shoulder and noticing Rick and Grace in the kitchen, Castle showing Grace how to transfer a slice of cake onto a plate. "Then… is everything okay?"

Alexis shrugs and it doesn't take being a detective to know that his daughter isn't having the greatest day after all.

"My dad says I stress too much over grades," Alexis sighs after Kate risks a few moments of silence to wait her out, allow her the chance to talk about it, and Beckett is almost surprised that she takes it. Almost. "But today, I got a B on a test I studied really hard for in science, and then my best friend, Paige, cancelled our plans for the third time this week because some boy asked her out, and when I got home, my mom called and said she wasn't going to be stopping by the week before Christmas after all and that I might see her on New Year's, but I honestly hope she cancels on me for that too. Meredith just makes things harder," Alexis mutters, scraping at her bangs, blinking away the glimmer in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Alexis," Kate sighs, lifting her hand to squeeze the girl's arm, brushing her thumb to her elbow when her blue eyes begin to blur and she has to purse her lips.

"I'm okay," she declares softly. "I'll make up the B with extra credit and I can hang out with Paige some other time. And my mom… Meredith," she tries to correct herself, and it scrapes at Kate's heart a little to watch the girl in front of her attempting to sever the tie of mother and daughter. "She does this all the time, ever since I can remember, it shouldn't – there's no reason to be upset."

"Just because you're used to a person's behavior, doesn't mean you ever start accepting it as okay, Alexis," Kate reasons, lowering her voice to the tone she uses for victims of lost loved ones, but refusing to treat his daughter as if she is one. "It's okay to be disappointed in your mom, to be hurt by her not showing up when she told you she would."

"But I don't want to be," Alexis sighs, swallowing down her tears. "I don't want it to bother me."

Kate releases her arm, purses her lips, and nods her understanding. "I know, but that's part of being human, you know? You love your mom, just as I have no doubts that she loves you, even if she isn't the greatest at showing it. And it's okay to be upset with her over this."

Alexis seems reluctant to believe her, frowning down at her fidgeting fingers.

"You know what might help a bit?" Kate muses, earning the quirk of Alexis's brow. "Your dad's cheesecake."

A laugh slips out of her, soft and surprised, but Alexis is nodding, descending from the foot of the stairs to step down beside Kate.

"Can't argue with that, but Kate?"

"Yeah?"

Alexis hesitates, but wraps her arms briefly around Kate's waist, a quick squeeze of an embrace before she lets go, smiles shyly.

"Thanks."

"Anytime." Kate returns the smile, patting Alexis's shoulder and pushing her towards the dining room table where Grace is enjoying her dessert while Castle picks at his, pretends that he hasn't been sneaking glances and trying to crane his neck towards the direction of their conversation for the last five minutes.

Alexis grabs two plates of cheesecake from the island, hands one to Kate and reclaims her spot next to her dad, explaining that she wanted some dessert after all. Rick lifts his gaze to her with gratitude while she settles down across from him, nudging his foot beneath the table and humming around her forkful of scrumptious cheesecake.

"This is incredible, Castle," she praises, her approval of his baking earning an eager nod from Grace at her side.

"You keep showing up and I'll give you the recipe," Castle bargains, returning the bump of her foot with the brush of his own, and Kate hesitates before finally crossing her legs to avoid an inadvertent game of footsie beneath the table.

"What if I keep showing up and you just keep making the cheesecake for me?" she counters, hearing Grace giggle around her dessert. "Grace. Don't-"

"Mommy can't bake cheesecake," Grace reveals, dodging the stretch of Kate's palm trying to cover her usually quiet mouth. "She always burns it."

"One time-"

"Was all it took for the fire department to come," Grace reminds her with a narrowed look that has Alexis smothering a laugh while Rick expresses his amusement at her expense without shame.

"Don't get cocky, Dad," Alexis warns. "Or I'll tell them about the turkey incident of 2010."

Rick's jaw snaps shut, but Kate leans forward in interest, Grace mimicking her.

"Turkey incident?" she repeats, one of her eyebrows arching. "Do tell, Alexis."

"No, no, cheesecake," Rick cuts in. "We were talking about cheesecake."

"Some other time," Alexis promises with a wink while her father gasps in horror, dropping his fork to his plate as he turns in his seat.

"You would betray your father like this?"

"Betrayal? More like evening the playing field," Kate points out, scooping another bite of cheesecake into her mouth, grinning smugly around the rich flavor.

"Truce? As long as you're here, I'll make you as many cheesecakes as your heart desires, Kate Beckett," he promises and Grace reaches forward to shake his hand on her mother's behalf.

"Deal," her daughter replies seriously and Kate huffs a laugh.

"Looks like you'll be around for an indefinite amount of time," Rick surmises, like he's the real winner here, and Kate shrugs.

Might as well embrace this odd arrangement blooming into existence between the four of them. For Grace's sake.

She smiles into her next bite of cheesecake. "Apparently so."

* * *

"You helped my kid earlier." Kate lifts her gaze to the man approaching her in his kitchen, his eyes falling to the sink, where she's washing off his dishes and loading them into the washer. "And now you're doing my dishes."

"I tried and I am," she nods, rinsing one of the last plates from dessert and inserting it into a free space on the rack. "Grace isn't glued to Alexis's side, is she?"

"Nah, Alexis is letting her look through her book collection," Castle assures her, taking a fork from her fingers. "Stop doing my dishes, you're a guest."

"Who can help clean up afterwards," she argues, stealing the silverware back, rinsing it off and dropping it in next, but he's still staring at her, a little awed and a lot appreciative. "And you helped my kid too so stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?" he questions, fishing, and Kate huffs, unwilling to answer that. "Like I find you extraordinary? Because I kinda can't help that."

Her fingers pause, waver over the sink, and Beckett purses her lips. "You don't know me well enough to say things like that."

"I know you're a hardworking mom who's also a badass detective, according to Grace, and doing her best to make the little girl upstairs as happy as she can possibly be," he lists, causing her skin to flush and her heart to skitter, her nerves to flare. "You're smart, clever, and I won't even begin to comment on your appearance because-"

"Castle." He stops, clamping his mouth shut, and she closes her eyes for a moment, searches for the words that won't come, that she doesn't want to say but are necessary. "I've known you for a week and I could say just as many positive things about you, but I just – I think it would be better if we remained friends. Only friends."

His expression remains neutral, blank, but the firelight in his eyes has failed to die.

"For the sake of our kids?"

"Yes." And for the sake of her heart, which has taken one too many beatings over the last fifteen years, since a detective had shown up on their doorstep, shattered it to pieces; she's unsure it could sustain another blow.

"Even if you feel the same connection I do?" he challenges, nothing giving except the upwards curve of his eyebrow, and Kate blows out a breath, because yeah, she may feel it too, may feel sparks travel up from the whorls of her fingertips, through the bones of her arms and setting her bloodstream aflame, any time he offhandedly touches her, any time he's close by.

"Even so," she nods, bracing her hands on the edge of the sink. "I can't let my daughter get hurt again, Rick. You – she likes you, for some reason."

He huffs in offense, but it breaks the tension, just like she'd hoped it would, and she grins up at him.

"Grace hasn't been able to smile quite as much, to laugh as much as she used to, since her dad decided she wasn't worth the time anymore. It's been hard enough for her having parents that were never together, but the day he decided he was done trying for her…" Kate squares her jaw, unable to help the anger that blooms every time she thinks about it. "I can't let anyone hurt her like that again. I don't want her to think that's all anyone will ever do."

"I know, I know the feeling," he murmurs, so much understanding in his eyes, she could practically weep with the relief of witnessing it. "And I don't want to do that, Kate. To either of you. We have the same goals, to protect our kids' hearts."

"Yeah," Kate sighs, so grateful he gets it, that someone can finally grasp where she's coming from.

"Doesn't mean I'm going to give up hope on being more than just your friend one day, Kate."

Gratitude drains from her system, exasperation taking its place, and she sighs her defeat. Fine, let him think whatever he wants, believe that some future romance will develop; he'll see soon enough that it's a fruitless endeavor with her.

She's a difficult person to love.

"I admire your persistence," she concedes wryly, trying to ignore the way his smile has her heart accelerating. "Just don't expect any Christmas miracles on that front."

"Shh, stop ruining my story with your depressing logic, Scrooge."

She smacks him in the arm with a dishtowel, the laughter bubbling in her throat, almost making her wish she could defy her own rules.


	3. Chapter 3

A coffee cup appears in front of her and she glances up in confusion, her lips parting with surprise to find Rick Castle standing beside her desk, a tentative smile on his face, hesitance in his eyes, but she should have known he'd end up here eventually.

"Castle."

"Worry not, I come bearing the gift of caffeine and nothing more," he swears, but she narrows her gaze on him.

"How do you know where I work?" Kate questions, but she curls her chilled fingers around the warm cup of coffee, lifting the cup to her lips and sighing at the spread of hot coffee with a touch of vanilla, and… wait- "And how do you know my coffee order?"

"In answer to both of those questions," he begins, taking a partial seat on the edge of her desk and clasping his hands on his thigh. "I'm a writer, I notice things. Yesterday, when we met to take the girls for lunch and stopped for coffee? I heard your order and heard Grace mention the Twelfth. Easy."

"Stalkery," she corrects around the lid of her travel cup. "Next question, what are you doing here?"

"Like I said, bearing gifts. Got you a cinnamon roll too," he murmurs, producing the pastry bag and placing it gingerly to the side, away from her paperwork. "Still warm."

"Rick-"

"Okay, fine, I also came to ask… well, I know I could have asked over the phone, but too late - I'm going to try to do the last of my Christmas shopping tomorrow," he explains, his fingers flexing atop his thigh as if he's nervous. "And I remember you mentioned that Wednesdays are your days off, so I was just wondering if you wanted to come? Maybe do some shopping of your own while the kids are in school?"

Kate folds her hands beneath her chin and cocks her head.

"You came all the way here just to ask me that?"

"Yes. I also wanted to see this place because it sounded awesome and I'm far from disappointed," he whispers excitedly, his gaze roaming the interior of the station.

Kate rolls her eyes and takes another swallow of coffee while she contemplates his request.

"I do need to do some shopping for Grace, my dad…"

"And I need to shop for Alexis and my mother. See, it's meant to be," he tells her seriously, pushing off from the desk when she rises from her chair, snagging the cinnamon roll on her way to the break room, not having to check to know he's following.

"Okay," she decides, grabbing a few napkins and extracting the pastry from the bag, tearing off a piece of the roll and popping it into her mouth. "Mm, stop plying me with treats or I'm going to have to wake up earlier more often for runs."

"Oh please, the cheesecake was three days ago and you're thin and gorgeous. Nothing to worry about," he waves her off and she does her best not to linger on that, on the quick but lasting sweep of his eyes on her. "But wait, _okay_?"

She nods and tears off another piece of cinnamon roll, offers it to him. "What time tomorrow?"

She can see it clearly in the darkened hues of his gaze that he considers grasping her wrist, taking the piece from her fingers with his teeth, before he plucks the pastry from her fingertips with his own and tosses it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

"Nine? I can pick you up or we can meet, have a late breakfast."

"Sounds good. Call me tonight after Grace's bedtime and we'll plan it out more," she murmurs, casting her eyes to the break room doorway, assuring the boys are nowhere in sight.

"I'll call you tonight, let you get back to work for now," Castle states, and she glances back to him, reaches up unthinkingly to wipe the specks of cinnamon from the corner of his mouth, stiffening the moment her thumb is smeared to his skin.

"I – sorry, you just…" She swipes away the cinnamon, prepares to draw her hand back, but Castle does catch her wrist this time, his thumb a pleasant pressure to the inside of her wrist where her pulse begins to pound.

"Habit of being a parent," he fills in for her with a tenderness in his eyes that rivals the flares of lust.

He doesn't touch his tongue to her thumb like she had expected, releasing her wrist after all, and she's almost disappointed.

"Right," she mumbles, licking the pad of her thumb, all too pleased to witness his pupils dilate ever so slightly. "I'll talk to you tonight, Castle."

"Yeah, tonight," he nods, swallowing hard as he turns back towards the door.

"And Castle?" He stumbles to a stop and she raises her cup to her lips to hide the smile threatening to form. "Thank you for the coffee."

His lips split unabashedly and the deep blue of arousal lightens to the crisp cerulean of his eyes she's grown to appreciate just a little too much. "Anytime, Detective."

* * *

Christmas shopping has never necessarily been _fun_ for her, the task sometimes daunting, made hectic by the holiday frenzy that often consumed the streets, but shopping with Castle… wasn't so bad.

Beckett had met him for breakfast that morning at a cozy little café in the village, letting him pick at her bacon while she had stolen his fresh fruit, and walked with him from then on, meandering in and out of random stores, introducing one another to the more familiar spots.

She's never met his mother, Martha Rodgers, but she assists him in narrowing down his selections for accessories that will fit the extravagant actress's style, aids him in seeking out the perfect gifts for Alexis, and allows him to help her in her choices of what to get Grace.

"She's such a bookworm, I'm thinking about buying her the complete set of Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narnia novels," Kate muses while they roam Barnes and Noble, her arm still looped through his as it had been all morning.

For warmth, she reminds herself, even if they are inside a heated building now.

"Ah, she's into the same stuff as Alexis was at that age," Castle smiles, scanning the titles in the children's fiction section. "Remarkable worlds full of magic just waiting to be uncovered."

"I'm glad. I want her to hold onto that magic for as long as she can," Kate sighs, but he's slowing at her side, assessing her with a curious look.

"Why would she ever let it go?"

She shrugs, her shoulder bumping his. "We all have to let it go at some point, realize that there's not much magic left in the real world."

"That's why we create our own," Castle murmurs, and there's so much conviction in his voice, such earnest belief, that she listens rather than protests. "Maybe there isn't as much magic left to be found anymore, but I've grown to believe in the everyday magic of our lives."

"I don't know what you mean," Kate admits, her eyes still roaming along the titles of books and authors, but Castle is tugging her to a stop by their entwined arms.

"You were totally one of those annoying six year olds who stopped believing in Santa Claus because you figured out he couldn't travel faster than the speed of light, weren't you?"

She smirks. "I was three, and we didn't have a chimney."

Castle groans and buries his face in one of his hands, refusing to untangle his arm from hers to access the other one.

"Don't worry, Grace is seven and still believing," she comforts him with a chuckle.

"But you have to believe too, Kate," he reasons, causing her brow to furrow as she glances back to him from the books.

"In Santa?"

"No," he huffs, his eyes seeking hers with resolution setting his irises on fire. "In the possibility of magic."

"Castle, why do you care so much that I-"

"Because, if you don't believe in even the possibility, you'll never ever find it," he murmurs, slipping his hand down the inside of her arm to meet her palm with his. "And you deserve magic, Kate."

He begins to walk with her down the aisle of books again while she stares down at their clasped hands, kissing palms and flirting fingers, feeling the pleasant surge of electricity through her veins, and she thinks that aside from the little girl she's picking up from school in a few hours, this connection she has with Rick, the effortless friendship and simmering desire for more, may be the closest to magic she'll ever find. And she's completely content with that.

* * *

They shuffle into his loft with their arms full and she's biting back laughter, trying not to topple into him.

"Castle, watch where you're going," she chuckles, setting the load of presents, both his and hers mixed together, on his couch.

"I couldn't see," he defends, still stranded in the foyer with a box atop his pile that blocks his view, and Kate turns back to retrieve the obstructing box of books – oh, she had accidentally allowed him to make good on his claim of chivalry and carry the heaviest of their purchases, hadn't she? - gaining the reappearance of his head. "Hey."

She rolls her eyes at his grin and sets the books on the floor, helps him with the rest of the bags.

"I have an hour before I need to head out to pick up Grace," Kate reminds him, but he waves her off.

"Don't worry, I've got everything we need already on hand. We'll be through long before three," he assures her, trotting into his office, disappearing through a door she assumes leads to his bedroom.

She waits for him to reappear patiently, studying the changing interior of his loft, noting the decorations that are beginning to appear.

"When will you guys put up the tree?" Kate inquires when she hears him coming back.

"Probably sometime this week," he replies, returning with rolls of wrapping paper and a bundle of bows, scotch tape hanging from his fingers. "You and Grace are more than welcome to come over, help decorate if you want."

She likes the idea far too much, knows Grace will jump at the chance.

"I'd love to, Castle, but I'm going to be busy this upcoming week, the next as well," she sighs, moving in to retrieve the tape from his hand before it can slip from his tenuous grasp.

"Work?" he assumes.

"A lot of work," she affirms, helping him lay out their supplies along the coffee table. "I used to work the holiday shift every year so the officers with families would have that time, but after Grace was born… my captain never allows me to stay past midday on Christmas Eve and I'm grateful. But the murders seem to be almost worse around this time of year, so to make up for the two days off, I work as much as possible in the days leading up to it."

"Kate," he murmurs, not reprimanding, but his eyes shimmer with concern. "You'll run yourself ragged like that."

"I'll still have next Wednesday off, then the weekend that leads into the holiday this year," she reasons, with him and herself. "I'll be fine."

He purses his lips, but even after only two weeks of knowing her, he knows better than to argue, especially when it came to her job.

"Okay, but make a deal with me?"

Kate arches her brow. "This should be good."

"If it gets too much, if you need anything at all from me, especially where Grace is concerned, don't hesitate to tell me," he insists, stepping towards her with his arms empty of candy cane striped and snowflake themed wrapping paper, of glittering bows, and hanging at his sides, but his hands twitch with the mutual urge to touch.

An urge she fights, because it's too soon and too risky, and she just – she can't take risks, not when her daughter's heart could be on the line too.

"I will," she promises, but he doesn't seem placated. "Rick, this is nothing new, and while I appreciate the offer and may even take you up on it, there's nothing to worry about."

Castle nods, glances down to the gifts littering his living room, "We should get started if we want to have these all hidden before Alexis comes home. Grace's can hide in my closet until you're ready to pick them up."

The corner of her mouth quirks, a flicker of affection sparking in her chest, and she follows his descent to the floor, folding her legs beneath her and probably sitting too close. But the subtle scent of his aftershave, the warmth his side emanates, and the comfortable bump of hands and elbows while they talk and work together to wrap Christmas presents on his living room floor makes it worth it, makes her feel at home.


	4. Chapter 4

She trudges through his front door with exhaustion weighing down her limbs two weeks later, scraping at her eyes, but the moment she shuts the door, Kate hears the scamper of small feet and the smile breaks through her weariness.

"Mom! You're here!" Grace beams, crashing into her legs with arms around her waist.

"Oomph," she grunts, her spine bowing as she leans forward to return Grace's eager embrace. "Hey bud, having a good time, I'm assuming?"

"Yeah! Rick let me help finish decorating, then we started a Christmas movie marathon and had popcorn with M&Ms, just like you and I always eat it!"

Grace is smiling, so wide and brilliant, and while all of the words register, she can barely think past the amazement of seeing her daughter so happy again.

Kate descends to her haunches so she can properly hug her daughter, wrap her arms around Grace's lanky form and hold her close.

"Momma?" Grace asks in concern. "Did you have a hard case?"

Well, yes, but- "No, no, honey. I'm just happy to see you and glad you had so much fun with Rick and Alexis," Kate covers quickly, withdrawing far enough to meet Grace's eyes, offer her a smile that proves she's fine. "I'm just going to chat with Rick for a second and then you have to show me all the decorating you guys did, okay?"

"Okay," Grace chirps, surging forward to hug Kate's neck once more before stepping back to return to the living room where Beckett can see the three of them were camped out on the couch, watching _It's A Wonderful Life_ , and bypassing Castle, who's coming towards her with a smile that feels too much like home.

"Hey," he greets, taking her coat for her. "Close the case?"

"Yeah," she sighs, raking a hand through her wind tousled hair, trying not to think about the case, the brutality, all the ways she's reminded of how cruel people can be, how murder never takes a break, even for the impending holidays.

"Kate," he calls softly, inching closer, but he doesn't touch her, only his eyes on her as they scan her with familiar question and concern.

They had fallen into the habit of this over the past couple of weeks, ever since she had called him one afternoon before school had been out for Christmas break, during a particularly busy case, hating to ask anything of him, but needing a place for Grace to stay while she was stuck working a double homicide and her dad was out of town for a conference all week.

Kate hadn't been surprised by Grace's approval of the plan, the forming routine of Rick picking her up from Stuyvesant on the days Beckett had to work later than planned, showing up at the loft in the evening to retrieve her daughter, or simply crash with her in the guestroom until morning. The pattern had continued even after Grace had attended her last day of school for the year, Beckett's caseload prohibiting her from spending enough time at home, but just a couple more days and she'd be free for the holidays.

"Bad ending?" he asks under his breath and she doesn't answer, she can't, can't think of dead kids and ruined families, a ruined Christmas. She steps into him instead, buries her face in his neck, fists her hands in the fabric of the sweater at his back, and shuts her eyes while he returns her embrace, holds her close.

Rick presses a kiss to her temple and allows her to remain as long as she needs without saying a word, allows her to find the rest and comfort and haven she had been seeking. All in him, a man who's become her best friend and support system in only a matter of weeks.

"Thanks for taking Grace today," she rasps, opening her eyes again, relieved to see her daughter and Alexis still watching the movie on the projector screen he's set up, oblivious to her minor meltdown in the foyer. "For being here."

"Always," Castle murmurs easily. "You know that."

"I do," she nods against his shoulder. "Now, give me a tour of the holiday explosion that is your loft, I haven't had the chance to have a proper viewing."

Rick grins and takes her hand, leads her into the living room and has Grace popping up from the couch at their presence, eager to show off a home that isn't even hers while Alexis watches on in amusement.

Castle's home has become a winter wonderland over the last few weeks, garland and handmade snowflakes, twinkling lights and what has to be hundreds of holiday themed decorations littering every corner, every window and wall, and it's…

"Kinda magical," Kate tells him afterwards, sipping slowly at the glass of wine he'd offered her, savoring the rich flavor, the bittersweet burst on her tongue, the scent of pine that wafts through his living room, and the way Rick watches her swallow.

"Grace and Alexis seem to like it," he muses, nodding towards the two girls lying beneath the behemoth of a Christmas tree, socked toes wiggling as the two stare into the canopy of lights, Alexis's laughter ringing through the room while she tells Grace a story of Castle's past Christmas antics. Her daughter wears a smile the entire time, toying with one of the homemade ornaments from Alexis's childhood hanging on a low branch.

"We haven't been able to decorate like this since… I've never been able to give her this," Kate murmurs, roaming her eyes over the expanse of his beautiful home from the doorway of his office. "If it weren't for Grace, I wouldn't even celebrate."

" _What_?" Rick gasps, but he's stealing her hand, untangling her crossed arms, and she lets him, let's him lace their fingers and caress her knuckles. It isn't the first time she's allowed such a touch and she doesn't intend for it to be the last. "Come on, Beckett, how could you not celebrate Christmas?"

She gnaws on her bottom lip, doesn't want to give him her story, not that she doesn't trust him with it, with one of the most fragile pieces of her heart, but he's… over the last near month, the whirlwind of this friendship they've developed, he's only seen her current chapter and she's afraid that despite being a writer, he won't like the ugly backstory.

"Kate?" He lowers his tone, telltale concern seeping into his eyes, dragging down his brow, and she sighs, places her glass down on the nearby end table and squeezes his hand to mollify his worry.

"My mom," she murmurs, tracing her fingers along the chain at her neck without even thinking, heavy around her throat now like the links that shackled Jacob Marley to his sins.

She has a feeling Castle's wondered about her mother, especially in the times she's spoken about her dad, but he's never taken the liberty of asking, and she's thankful for the courtesy now, hadn't been ready to share this piece of herself then.

"She used to go all out for Christmas. Nothing this extravagant," Kate says with a small grin, strained but still able to rise. "But she loved the holidays, loved making them special."

He doesn't comment, hardly breathes from the sounds of it, but he does move in closer, the warmth of his chest radiating along her arm, soothing the bitter swell of scars that slice open every time she tells this story.

"After she was… my mother was murdered 15 years ago. Stabbed in an alley, the killer never caught, and it just - Christmas never appealed to me or my dad after that. All I could focus on was finding her killer, dedicating my entire life to gaining justice for her, until I got pregnant with Grace."

Castle is staring at her when she finally spares a look at him, horror bleeding through the lines of his face, but there's more than that. There's admiration in his eyes, empathy, and his thumb strokes the inside of her wrist, steadies the tripping beat of her heart.

"She'd be proud of you, that's for sure," he murmurs, but Kate can't help the scoff that escapes her lips.

"Oh yeah, so proud of me for never finding her killer, for sleeping with an ex just for the sake of forgetting for a night and bringing an innocent little girl into a world like this with a father who can't even spare a weekend for her," Kate mutters, squaring her jaw to keep it steady. "My - my daughter had barely been able to _smile_ for over a month, Rick. Not until we met you. But yeah, so many reasons to be proud."

"Kate," he murmurs, the reproach in his voice at her sarcasm soft, but she's shaking her head against it, doesn't want him to try to make her feel better when she already knows there's nothing he can say to- "You are the strongest person I've ever met and you only solidify that to me every day, just like you did right now," he tells her, his lips close to her ear, his breath hot and whispering through the strands of her hair, and she has to bite her lip to suppress the shiver that wants free. "Grace is lucky to have a mother who loves her so much that she'd sacrifice the thing that matters most _for_ her. She may have lost her smile for a little bit, but she's getting it back. Not because of me or Alexis, but because of you."

She hates how the breath shudders its way past her lips, how he makes her heart throb and her palms sweat, hates how much better he makes her feel on even her hardest days.

"And you'll still find the son of a bitch who killed your mother. I'll help." A strangled laugh falls from her mouth, weak and smothered, but that's what he wanted. "You laugh, but I'm serious," he carries on, puffing out his chest. "Plucky sidekick at your service, Beckett. My resources are your resources."

And she realizes that even as he's purposely making her smile, he's also serious, willing to give her anything she needs, whatever she wants.

Kate leans into his side, her chin on his shoulder. "Partner. Not a sidekick."

"Mm, better," he concurs, eliciting another stretch of her lips.

"Hey Momma," Grace calls, crawling from beneath the tree with something devious glittering in the hazel pools of her eyes, gold speckled irises she had inherited from her mother. "You and Rick are under the mistletoe."

Kate's eyes fly skywards, sure enough finding a cluster of the traditional greens hanging from a bright red ribbon above them.

"I didn't do it," he defends immediately, lifting a hand in supplication and taking a step back from her, and Beckett rolls her eyes.

Grace is watching her expectantly, Alexis spying from between tree branches with a smirk that tells the detective exactly who is responsible for the mistletoe's location.

"Too afraid to kiss me, Castle?" she teases, heat shimmering through her insides the second his eyes snap back to her, blue flames flickering as they land on her mouth.

She winks to Grace, prepared to turn on her heel and pluck her wineglass from the table, but Castle's hand is on her neck, gentle but demanding, drawing her in, and then he's kissing her. Chaste and soft, over all too soon for the sake of the children in the room, but Kate sighs out against his mouth, strokes her fingers to his cheek and scratches her nails through the stubble peppering his jaw before he can let her go.

"Not afraid of you," Castle quips, brushing his lips once more to the corner of her mouth and lowering his hand, the heat of his fingertips trickling down her arm, burning through her sweater, as he retreats.

"Good," she hums before he disappears towards the kitchen, her brain a little hazy from that kiss, but returning to clarity when Grace wraps her arms around her mother's legs.

And when Kate glances down, it's to the sight of her smiling, the apples of her cheeks round with it.

"What are you grinning about?" Kate chuckles, cupping the side of Grace's face in one of her palms, tapping her thumb to her nose.

"I like you and Rick together, it's like a fairy tale," Grace confesses like she's telling her a secret. "I like us here."

Kate sighs and combs her fingers through her daughter's hair, her heart a riot of arousal leftover from his lips, affection for the girl hugging her waist, and the strange little family they seem to be building here without even trying, without ever intending to.

"Me too, bud."


	5. Chapter 5

"So Katie, still having Christmas Eve at your place Monday?" her father asks, his voice tired but cheerful on the other line, a relief to her ears.

The holidays are never easy for the two of them, but since Grace was born, her father had been putting forth just as much of an effort as Kate had to make them special again.

Well, special for Grace, bearable for them.

"Yeah, is that still okay?" Kate asks in return while she monitors Grace from the kitchen, her daughter busy hanging garland and golden lights along all of the windows.

They decorated each year in the apartment, a tree, a few wreaths and wall ornaments, but they never necessarily went all out. Rick had given Kate some of his "leftover Christmas decorations" that he and Alexis no longer used last week, though, after he had kissed her and then searched for a way to stall her departure from the loft, and she had decided to use her day off to surprise Grace with some Christmas spirit for their home.

"Of course, just wanted to make sure things weren't changing this year," Jim Beckett muses and Kate pauses in her preparation of the hot cocoa, narrowing her eyes even if her father can't see her.

"Why would they?"

"Oh, no reason."

"Dad," she murmurs, her tone low and alerting Grace to her suspicions.

"Will we have any… extra guests this year?"

Kate groans and drops the bag of mini marshmallows to the countertop. "Grace, what did you tell Grandpa Jim about Rick and Alexis?"

"Nothing!" Grace defends, but her attention is steadfastly on hanging a pipe cleaner reindeer to the strip of garland they'd hooked along the miniature stairway of Kate's small library. "I just told him we had friends who invited us over for Christmas dinner. Because Rick did invite you, didn't he?"

"He invited us both," Kate reminds her, ignoring her father's quiet laughter on the line.

"Gracie trying to set you up for Christmas?" Jim asks in amusement, but Kate scoffs in disapproval at the idea.

"No, this is not some crappy Hallmark movie."

"Mm, well, according to Grace-"

"Why, again, are you listening to the seven year old?"

"Hey, I'm an old soul," Grace protests, hopping down from the steps to trot towards the kitchen. "Can I talk to Grandpa?"

Kate laughs in disbelief and tugs on the short braid of Grace's hair when the girl leans into her side. "No way. I'm doing damage control thanks to you and the last time you spent with Grandpa."

"Tell Grace she can spill all the dirt on you and this Rick fellow on Monday," Jim muses and Kate covers her face with her hand, can already hear her father laughing at her and can see Grace grinning as she props her chin on Kate's hip.

"I'll tell her," she grumbles, but her lips are curling in the corners now.

"Love you, Katie," her father chuckles and the sight of her daughter smiling up at her, her dad laughing in her ear, even if it is all at her expense, warms her heart too much for her to annoyed with the pair of them. "And Gracie."

"Love you too," she murmurs and directs her gaze to Grace. "Your partner in crime loves you."

"I love him too," Grace chirps, lifting up and down on her socked toes.

"She's happy?" Jim inquires before she can hang up and Kate hums in confirmation, combs her fingers through the growing layer of Grace's bangs.

"Yeah, she is."

"Already a great Christmas."

Grace releases Kate as she realizes the conversation is concluding, skipping back towards the last of the decorations and folding her legs beneath her to sort through them in front of the tree.

"I agree." Her phone buzzes, zapping her out of the lovely acknowledgement of Grace's happiness with her father, and Kate pulls the device from her ear to see the screen lighting up with an incoming call from Rick. "Hey Dad, I've got another call, see you Monday?"

"Yep, I'll see you then. And again, love you both." Her father ends the call after her murmured 'love you back', and Kate accepts Rick's call before it can go to voicemail.

"Hey," she answers, snagging the corner of her bottom lip with her teeth, almost reaching for a strand of hair to toy with before she stops herself with a roll of her eyes and the curl of her fist in the marshmallow bag.

"Hey, busy?" Rick greets her, chipper as always, but slightly… he almost sounds a bit down, sad, and she's wholly unused to that from him.

"No, actually. I'm on call for today, but I technically have from now until the holidays conclude off," she informs him, expecting a crow of delight, but he merely hums in acknowledgement. "Rick, are you okay?"

"Me? Oh yeah, fine, just…" He hesitates and she waits like she would for an inevitable confession in the interrogation room. "Meredith showed up at my door this morning."

Kate swallows, anticipating horrible news, the revelation of a brutal fight or more emotional turmoil for Alexis, but Castle releases a long sigh and asks her, "Do you mind if I come by?"

"Of course not," she murmurs without hesitation, a little too quickly, glancing down to the two mugs of hot chocolate already going cold, inanely thinking that she'll need to make another. "Let me text you the address."

"Already have it, Kate," he reminds her, that smug smile likely gracing his lips. "That time I picked Grace up and dropped her off with your dad at your place?"

"Ah, yeah," she chuckles, burying her fingers in her own hair. "How far away are you?"

He's silent for a matter of seconds, the noises of the city, cars and obnoxiously loud Christmas music, fading. "Kind of in your lobby."

"Should've known," she mutters, but her lips quirk and she's starting for the front door. "3B."

"Be up in a second," he replies, ending the call, and Kate sighs, placing her phone on the counter and glancing back to Grace.

"Hey bud, you don't mind if we have company for a bit, do you?"

"No, is it Aunt Lanie?" she asks distractedly while Kate opens the door, peers down the hall until she sees him emerging from the elevator, his nose pink from the cold and his scarf hanging haphazardly around his neck.

"No, not Aunt Lanie." She steps out of view from the doorway for just a moment, lets Castle lean in and touch his chilled lips to her cheek, dangerously close to the corner of her mouth. "You okay?" she murmurs under her breath before she can alert Grace to his arrival, assessing the worry lines that rarely rise to the surface, tracing the branches of them extending from the corner of his eyes with the tip of her thumb.

Castle smiles back at her, tired but beautiful. His smiles are always beautiful.

"Yeah, I'm fine. So is Alexis, it's just been an exhausting morning."

"Tell me all about it while I make you some hot chocolate."

"Oh, Kate Beckett, you know exactly how to treat a man," he praises, following her inside her apartment, shrugging out of his coat in the doorway, just in time for Grace to spot him.

"Oh, hi Rick!" Grace exclaims, her eyes lighting up at the sight of him.

"Hey bud, I see you and your mom put those decorations to good use," he appraises, descending to Grace's level when she rises from her spot by the tree to approach them, always a bit apprehensive to reach out and hug Rick, to hug anyone that she isn't certain will return her affection.

But Castle hooks an arm around her shoulders and blows a raspberry to her cheek just to have her gasping a laugh and jerking back.

Witnessing the exchange has Kate thinking – fearing – that she may be falling just a little bit in love with him.

* * *

It's been a few days since they last saw Rick, and Kate brews his hot chocolate while Grace fills him in on how their plans for Christmas Eve, on her grandfather – whom Rick was still eager to meet – and the movie Kate took her to see yesterday afternoon once she'd finished up with her final batch of paperwork at the Twelfth.

By the time Kate has all three beverages ready and warmed, she can hear Grace inquiring about Alexis, and she's able to see Castle's hesitation to say as she approaches the couch where they sit, the crestfallen expression that claims her daughter's features at the answer.

"Alexis's mom came to see her?" Grace asks and Kate's heart begins to sink at the look on her kid's face, the devastating mixture of hope and question.

She knows Alexis has talked to Grace about their shared struggle of absentee parents, that it had been one of the things to connect them, provide Grace with a sense of comfort and understanding that she'd needed, but Meredith possesses a different form of irresponsibility when it came to her daughter, vastly different from Will's distant and practically unattainable love for Grace.

From what Rick has told her, Meredith often has the genuine intention of eventually showing up for Alexis; Will has no plans to return for Grace's sake at all.

"Just for today," Castle affirms with a nod. "She showed up at our loft early this morning and just took Alexis out to do a couple of things before she flies back to Los Angeles this evening."

"Oh." Grace looks to her hands, her brow knitting with contemplation. "I'm… glad Alexis gets some time with her mom."

Castle glances to Kate with uncertainty, but she shakes her head at the repentance in his gaze, immediately wishes for a moment to assure him that it isn't his fault.

"Yeah, me too, sweetie. I'm missing Alexis today, but maybe it worked out, you know? Now I finally get to hang here at your place and this apartment is way cooler than mine," he admits and Grace quirks her lips, but casts her gaze towards the open door of her bedroom.

"Want to watch something on TV or pop in a movie, bud?" Kate suggests, circling around the coffee table in front of the sofa and setting the mugs down on the hard surface.

Grace shakes her head, her lips pursed tightly, and she knows her daughter is upset, refusing to openly show it, but just barely holding it in.

"Is that a collection of books? With my novels on prominent display?" Castle gasps suddenly, ascending from the couch and bypassing Kate for her bookshelves, squeezing her shoulder as he goes, and she breathes out an exhale of gratitude for this man, for how well he understands.

"Grace-"

"My dad won't… he's not going to show up for Christmas, is he?" Grace whispers, her eyes beginning to glitter despite her valiant attempts to blink the moisture away.

"She's just like you, Katie," her father had told her years ago, after Grace's first night spent in his apartment while Kate had been working late into the early morning hours. "Won't sleep with a nightlight even though I know she's scared. Just as brave, just as stubborn."

And just as unwilling to let anyone see her cry.

"I haven't spoken to your dad since… since the last time we saw him," Kate admits, information Grace had likely already known, and perches in front of her on the coffee table, steals her fidgeting fingers from her lap and clasps those small hands in her palms. "So no, I don't think he's going to show up for Christmas this year, baby. I'm sorry."

Grace nods, the action jerky and her face crumbling. "That's okay. I already knew he – he's too busy. His job with the FBI is important."

Kate grits her teeth at the repeated line their daughter had always received from Will and squeezes her hands a little tighter.

"It is, but _nothing_ is more important than you, do you understand that?"

"Momma-"

"Grace Olivia."

"Oh no," Castle whispers conspicuously from across the living room. "Middle name."

Kate rolls her eyes, but lifts one of her hands to her daughter's chin, trapping it between her fingers. "Do you hear me?"

"Yes," Grace sighs, staring down at her hands cradled in Kate's palm.

"And do you believe me?" Kate murmurs, the flicker of doubt in her daughter's eyes splitting her heart in two, and she grips the little girl firmly when Grace edges off the couch to seek her mom's embrace. "You know you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Grace nods against her, a renegade tear staining the skin of Kate's neck. They remain that way for a few minutes, Rick's absence hardly noticeable, but Kate can see him snooping around near the door to her bedroom, offering the necessary time and space for Grace to calm, for her eyes to dry.

He times it perfectly.

"Hey, you know what we should do? We should go ice skating," Castle muses aloud, strolling back towards them. "I have season passes, so we wouldn't even have to wait in line."

Grace's lips part in excitement, easily eradicating any traces of sorrow, and Kate stands from the table, nudging Grace's knee with her own.

"Still have your skates?"

Grace pops up from the sofa to race for her room and the moment she's out of sight, Kate turns to face him.

"Rick-"

"Listen, I'm technically not paying for anything, so really-"

"No," she huffs, stepping forward, stepping into him, watching his eyes ripple with surprise at the touch of her hands on his hips. "I just – thank you. For knowing exactly what to do."

"I just hope I didn't overstep," he murmurs, his eyes flicking towards Grace's bedroom door where they can both hear her rummaging around in her closet. "I didn't want to intrude, especially when you do a great job without any help, and I wasn't trying to necessarily help either, I only wanted-"

"Castle," she sighs, lifting a finger to his lips. "I know what you were doing and I recognize that your intentions were to make my kid feel better. So stop rambling unnecessary explanations at me."

The tension dissipates from his spine, loosening his shoulders, and his lips spill into a soft smile beneath the tip of her index finger.

"I also just really wanted to go ice skating," he adds, his grin expanding while Kate's turns into a grimace. "What? Not a fan?"

"She's a natural," Kate says with her thumb hooked over her shoulder in the direction of Grace's room. "I never have and never will be."

Grace trots out of her room, dressed for the cold weather and the ice rink with her skates slung over her shoulder. "Mom falls a lot, but she always gets back up."

Castle chuckles and catches her hand, their fingers flirting with the idea of twining.

"Don't worry, Beckett," he murmurs with the grin still firmly in place. "I'll catch you if you fall."


	6. Chapter 6

Kate yelps as Castle manages to hook an arm around her waist before her knee can smack into the ice, hoisting her back up and allowing her to steady herself on the blades of her skates before letting her go.

She almost wishes he wouldn't, that he would keep her warm and on even footing for the rest of this ice rink endeavor.

"I think you're getting better," he comments and she scoffs, holds her arms out on either side of her for balance.

"Yeah, I've only fallen four times in the last hour," she mutters, inching forward across the ice, feeling Castle's reassuring presence at her back, ready to catch her for the fifteenth time if need be.

"You know, it's kind of odd. I've seen you strut around in those power heels without wobbling once, but put you on ice and-"

"Heels on a sidewalk and blades on ice are two completely different fronts here," she argues, clutching at his coat when he begins gliding slowly beside her, holding fast to his arm. "Concrete is reliable, running in heels is easy, this-"

"You run in them? And you totally take down suspects in them too, don't you? That's so hot," he sighs wistfully and she curses him when the amusement he evokes in her chest has her wobbling off balance. "Speaking of your super sexy detective status-"

"I already don't like where this is going," Kate mumbles, a noise of distress building in the back of her throat when he glides ahead to stand in front of her, offering the open palms of his hands for her to rely on.

"Would you… how much would you hate if I wrote about someone like you?"

It takes a great deal of effort for her to divide her attention between the task of moving forward without faceplanting and making him squirm with the study of her eyes on him.

"Like me?"

"A detective," he nods, skating backwards with ease that has her envious. "I - ever since I learned about your job and we started talking about cases when you'd come over after work, I just… I got inspired. I've been so blocked with Storm lately and I'd have to wrap that one up before I even began pitching the idea for Nikki Heat, but-"

" _Nikki Heat_?" she echoes in disdain, his fingers wiggling just out of reach when she tries to grasp them. "You just said she's a detective."

"She is a detective," he defends.

"Castle, that is a _stripper_ name."

"Well, she is kinda slutty. Cop by day, stripper by night," he muses and Kate growls, attempts to pick up her pace, catch him. "Beckett, I'm kidding. Slow down before you fall down."

"You are not basing the character of a part time stripper on me, Richard Castle," she mutters, but he's laughing at her, letting her latch onto his hands and loosely curling his fingers over hers.

"I was kidding," he placates her again while he guides them smoothly around the rink, doing all of the work as she simply holds on. "She's a strong, savvy badass who's incredibly smart, a pro at her job, but still has a beautiful heart that she shares with the victims and those who earn the privilege of seeing it."

The quickening of her heart rocks her, has her feeling as if she could be shaken off balance solely by the force of its drumming, because he isn't simply describing a character anymore. Castle is staring back at her, allowing her to read it raw and vibrant in his gaze.

"Kate-"

Grace zips past them, flying across the ice, and with Kate already unsteady and Rick paying minimal attention, it's just enough to send them both teetering. Castle immediately releases her, leaving her to windmill her arms while he drops to his ass, grunting at the fall and scowling when a laugh escapes her at the sight.

"Sorry," she chuckles, skating the few inches forward, just close enough to extend her hands and attempt to tug him back upright, but Castle yanks once he has his grip on her, has her gasping and collapsing into him atop the ice. She smacks his shoulder, but his chest is rumbling against hers, the smile on his lips outshined by the crisp blues of his irises sparkling back at her. "Jackass."

"A jackass whom you will allow to write about you?" he needles, his hands spanning her sides, infusing her wish a flush of heat.

Even through her coat, the cage of her ribs and the curves of her sides fit well in his large palms.

"I get to read it first," she bargains, situating her knees beneath her, shivering at the shock of cold that travels through her jeans and into her bones.

"Deal," he agrees automatically, shifting towards the rails of the ice rink and heaving himself up. "I already have about half of the first book written, so whenever you-"

Her eyes widen. "What?"

"I don't necessarily have an outline for an entire series yet, but I have a clear idea of how I want this first book to go," he explains, holding out his hand to her, but she's busy trying not to gape at him.

"How – how long have you been writing this?" she asks, grabbing his hand and pushing up with her legs while he hauls her to her feet, draws her to stand with him against the sidelines.

His eyes are scanning the ice and she follows his gaze, sees him tracking Grace's impressive progress, the small jumps she's been practicing in the less crowded areas of the massive rink.

"Not long after I met you," he reveals, quietly as if he fears her reaction, and she doesn't understand, can't comprehend how she could ever prompt him to write a new character when he has Derrick Storm, when he has so much better than her available.

"But… why?"

His eyes cut back to her at that, incredulous once he notes the genuine bewilderment she wears.

"Because you inspire me," he answers simply, but he's looking at her like she's the eighth wonder of the world, like she's so much more than she actually is. "Because in just this month of knowing you, I've seen the depths of your strength and your heart. Not to mention your hotness."

Kate ducks her head, wills the curls of her hair to fall around her face, hide the traitorous blush of her cheeks.

"You're everything I want."

She bites her lip, directs her eyes to his shoulder to avoid meeting his gaze. "In a character?"

"Mm, that too," he murmurs and Kate realizes he still has her hand, the brush of his thumb to the brittle bones of her knuckles like fire melting away the chill.

"Castle-"

"I know," he interrupts with his other hand lifting in supplication. "You may not want anything with me, or maybe we just need more time, but if that's the case, I'm fine with waiting, Kate."

The slice of blades through ice has her glancing to her approaching daughter, and oh, she's both relieved and a bit thrown off by Grace's interruption, skating up to them with a sheepish grin.

Perfect timing, as always.

"Sorry for making you guys fall," Grace apologizes on a chuckle, but Rick waves her off, releases Kate's hand before Grace can see.

"Not a problem. Had enough for the day?" Castle inquires, flickering his gaze between both mother and daughter, already knowing Kate's answer, grinning at her visible relief when Grace agrees.

"Yeah, my legs are getting tired," Grace murmurs, skating around Kate to hold to the railing for a moment.

"Well, how about we go return the skates Rick and I rented and then we'll grab a bite to eat?" Kate suggests, checking for Rick's nod of confirmation after Grace has agreed and reaching for her daughter's hand.

Castle catches the other, snagging Kate's gaze over Grace's head with a nod towards her daughter, and she understands immediately, grins in return once she's ready and stable with her opposite hand on the railing. They lift Grace between them, let her swing through the air for a moment, before dropping her back down, and Kate revels in the squeal of delight that flies free from her daughter's lips as her blades hit the ice again.

And as much as it terrifies her, in that moment with her daughter between them, giggling and tugging them towards the rink's exit, she thinks she loves him with certainty.

* * *

Kate frees Grace's feet from her skates on one of the benches while Rick returns theirs, squeezing her cold, socked toes before she helps her step back into her boots.

"Did you have fun, Mom?" Grace asks, buttoning her coat and staring up at Kate with hopeful eyes. "I know skating isn't your favorite-"

"Hey, as long as you had fun? That's all that matters to me," Kate reminds her. "But I had a good time skating with Rick, he helped lessen the number of falls I took."

Grace giggles and smiles up at Castle when he returns, taking a seat on the bench beside Grace and leaning forward.

"Hop on, jello legs."

Grace bites her chapped bottom lip to suppress the growth of her grin and Kate finds herself doing the same while her daughter stands on the bench to step up to the space behind Castle, climb onto his back and hold onto his shoulders, wrap her legs at his torso before he stands.

"And we're good to go," he declares, winking at Kate as Grace relaxes against him, her cheek resting at his trapezius muscle while they head back towards the busy sidewalks.

"Hey," Kate hums, hooking her pinky finger in his and tugging, earning the flicker of his curiosity. "There's no question in regards to what I want."

His lips part in beautiful surprise and she slips her hand further into the embrace of his.

"And I don't intend on making you wait long."

Castle's adam's apple bobs and his chest expands with a deep breath, resolution in his eyes.

"Any wait is worth it."

They leave Rockefeller Center together with Grace on Castle's back, content and happy, while Kate fits her fingers through the empty spaces of his, tucking their intertwined hands into her coat pocket.


	7. Chapter 7

Grace dozes at Castle's back, her eyes fluttering shut every few minutes, fighting to stay awake through their walk to Tribeca. Night is already beginning to fall, dancing with the final vestiges of daylight, and the skating has all of them a bit worn, the burn of sore muscles a promise in Kate's legs, and she huddles closer to Rick on the crowded sidewalk.

"Order in maybe? Or I could cook us something at your place?" Castle suggests, adjusting his grip on Grace's slack form when they pause at the crosswalk just a block from her apartment.

"Alexis?" she inquires, dropping her cheek to his shoulder and rubbing her palm at Grace's back.

"I've got my phone on high volume. She'll call as soon as she's home or on her way," he assures her, turning his head to graze a kiss to the top of hers before the pedestrian sign can flash, and it's so natural, so easy, that she closes her eyes, savors the sensation of something finally feeling _right_.

"Whatever you want to do is fine," she murmurs, straightening up as the light turns and they cross the street.

"Ooh, do you have the ingredients for spaghetti? I'm feeling Italian tonight," he muses, grinning when she hums a laugh.

"Sounds good to me, but no, I have pasta but no sauce. If you want to stop and buy a can though-"

"A can?" he mutters as her apartment comes into view. "No way, Beckett. If we're having spaghetti, I'm going all out and _making_ you sauce. Here, take the spider monkey and I'll run to the grocery store on your street."

She chuckles at the nickname, but holds her arms out for Grace once they're only a few feet from her building, bracing herself for her daughter's weight. Rick waits until she's settled to squeeze her arm and start down the street for the store.

"Be right back," he promises over his shoulder and she finds herself smiling even once he's been swallowed by the sea of pedestrians once more. Smiling at the absurdity of it all, the strange comfort in her chest that twines with the knowledge of him coming back to her so they can cook spaghetti in her kitchen.

"Momma, s'cold," Grace complains, burying her face in Kate's shoulder, and Beckett snaps out of it, covers the last few strides of distance to enter the lobby of her building.

"And you're heavy," Kate mumbles after they're safely in the elevator, swaying with Grace in her arms while they make the ride up.

"Rick carried me all the way home," her daughter points out, voice clearing with wakefulness.

Kate has to set her down outside their front door to fish her keys from her coat pocket. "He did."

"Where is he now? I didn't get to say goodbye," Grace realizes, sounding so dismayed that Kate pauses before she can turn they key in the lock, cupping the back of her daughter's skull in her palm to soothe her.

"He ran to the store right down the street to pick up some ingredients for dinner. He'll be right back, bud."

Grace deflates with relief and Kate's heart rabbits with fear at witnessing just how attached Grace has become, but it spikes with hope too. Because if it's right and real and lasting, this could be something wonderful for them both.

* * *

It takes far longer than it should for Rick to come back, a fifteen minute trip stretching into a half hour, and by forty-five minutes, she's pacing the living room floor while Grace sits on the sofa, staring out the window with worried eyes.

"Something's wrong."

Kate releases a shuddering breath and withdraws her phone from her pocket, thumbs the device to life.

"He would have called and there were sirens earlier," Grace persists, perching on her knees atop the couch cushions. "Rick only wouldn't call if there was an emergency and he couldn't. What if something happened to him? What if - like Grandma-"

"Grace," Kate chokes, swallowing hard at the verbalization of what has become her greatest fear within the last hour. "We'll go check, okay? Let me try calling him again and-"

Her phone buzzes in her hand, her heart leaping into her throat at the sight of his name on the caller ID.

"Rick," she breathes, jerking the phone to her ear, bracing a hand at Grace's hip when she ambles onto the surface of the coffee table to stand at Kate's height, breaking the rules, but just this once, for him-

"I'm so sorry, Kate," he professes, his voice shaking almost as badly as her hands. "I wanted to call sooner, but as soon as the cops showed up-"

" _What_?" she gasps, wishing that Grace wasn't here for this conversation, wishing she'd never let him leave her side for some damn spaghetti sauce. "What happened? Where are you?"

"There was a robbery, at the store, and I was stuck there afterwards giving my statement, but I'm okay, walking to your place right now-"

Grace hops down from the table and runs for the front door, swinging it open to wait for him, her eyes expectantly scanning the hall.

"You're okay?" she repeats, her knees locking to resist giving out, the horror of his explanation like ice water through her veins.

"Yes, yes, I promise. I was about to pay for the groceries when some guy stormed in, but the cops were there in a matter of minutes and no one was hurt-"

"How far are you?"

"In your building right now, may lose you in the elevator," he warns, but she's already following the path Grace took to the door, standing with her heart still clogging her throat, blocking the oxygen from making it to her lungs. "I'll be there in ten seconds, Kate."

The timer begins to count down in her head the second the line is forcibly disconnected and she waits with bated breath, her hands on Grace's shoulder while they stare down the elevator doors together.

"Rick!" Grace exclaims, racing for him, and he lowers the bag of groceries to catch her.

"Hey, bud," he breathes, snagging the groceries with his fingers before standing with her daughter clutched to his chest. "I'm fine. Just wrong place, wrong time, but I'm okay."

Grace seems to loosen the death grip around his throat, but she doesn't let Castle go.

"We were scared," Kate can hear her daughter whispering and she turns back into her apartment, a hand to her mouth.

It's fine, he's fine, just like he said. There's no reason to lose it, no reason to panic; he's in her hallway, carrying her daughter and the necessary makings for spaghetti sauce. It's fine.

She has to jerk towards the bathroom, drawing the door only partially shut and descending to her haunches, has to lower her head to her knees and relearn the process of breathing without issue.

"See, we're going to make homemade tomato sauce if you're still hungry," she can hear Castle murmuring, the front door shutting with a welcoming thump, the reassuring scrape of the locks, the paper of the grocery bag rustling from the kitchen. "And you can sort these out while I go find your mom. She's probably hiding out, trying to leave us with all the hard work," he teases and it's the sound of Grace's reluctant but genuine release of quiet laughter that has the air filling her lungs again.

And then she hears his footsteps approaching.

Her entire body feels too light, dizzy, but she forces herself to stand before he can come in, see her having a meltdown on the bathroom floor, and braces her hands against the sink instead.

"Kate?" he calls quietly from outside the door, knocking twice before easing it open.

She sucks in another breath and lifts her head to find him studying her with worried eyes, leftover anxiety in the depths, highlighted by the pale quality to his skin. But it's all overshadowed by the concern that she knows is for her and she shakes her head, pushes off the sink and surges forward, crashes into him.

Castle swallows her frame with his firm embrace, his heart pounding hard enough against his ribs to shake them both while Kate bands her arms around his waist, her hands fisted tightly in his back, and his chest expands with a deep breath, his face buried in her hair.

"I'm okay," he whispers, and she smothers the silent beginnings of a sob in the stretch of fabric concealing his clavicle. "It was just a scare, Kate. Just an idiot waving around a gun-"

"It's more than that, it's - it could have been more, could have been-" Could have been him shot dead, alone and bleeding out on the grimy floor of a convenience store, the life drained out of him, all because he had come home with her. "Don't make me lose you too," she rasps, lifting her head only to rest it against his chin. "Alexis and - and Grace can't - _I_ can't – not again. Not you too."

"No, never," he promises her, pointlessly, but she clings to it anyway, wills it to be true. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't be sorry," she chokes out, unfurling her fists at his back to raise her fingers to his jaw, drifting downwards to feel his pulse rioting with life beneath them. "I just – when you didn't come back and we were waiting for you, it – and then Grace mentioned my mom-"

"Fuck," he sighs, the curse like sandpaper along his throat, and she ducks her head to press her lips to the column of his flesh, just below his chin. He shivers, clutches the small of her back. "I swear, I was coming home. I have too much to live for – my daughter, your daughter, my mother, you."

"Did you call her? Alexis," she breathes, raising her head to seek his eyes, conveniently overlooking that final person mentioned.

Castle nods and splays his hands over the wings of her shoulder blades. "I didn't tell her, didn't want to scare her, but she was on her way home. I – I asked her to come this way, is that-"

"Of course," she murmurs, her eyes falling shut when he drops his forehead to rest against hers. "I just can't lose you, Castle."

"Momma?" Grace calls, just down the short hallway from the sounds of it. "Rick? I sorted the spices and vegetables."

"Good girl," Kate answers, coiling her fingers around his wrists when they cup her face, turning into the cradle of his palm to plant a kiss to his skin. "We're coming right now."

"Okay. Can I put in _Elf_ on the DVD player?"

"Perfect idea, spider monkey," Rick approves and they both grin at the huff of Grace's disapproval over the newborn endearment.

"If I'm a monkey, you're a gorilla."

"I must go punish your kid for such an insult," he informs her and Kate laughs, nods against him, but before she lets him go-

"Can we still stop by for Christmas dinner?"

Castle blinks, joy bleeding through his irises, and all she can think is how beautiful it is that he's alive, that she's still allowed the privilege of looking into those eyes.

"Of course, you just saved me the trouble of begging," he murmurs, wiggling his brow, and she nudges her nose to his cheek.

"Go bother my kid so we can start dinner. Your impromptu traumatic experience has me starving."

Castle lets her go, but brushes a kiss to the slash of her cheekbone. "As you wish."

* * *

"Kinda don't want you to leave," Kate sighs, her cheek on his shoulder as the credits to yet another Christmas movie roll along her TV.

They had cooked dinner side by side, Grace popping up from the couch to help as much as possible, hanging on Rick's every word as he instructed how to make his mouthwatering spaghetti sauce.

"Almost to die for," he'd mused, earning the smack of her hand to his arm. "And apparently too soon."

By the time Alexis had shown up on her doorstep, looking so utterly worn out and asking offhandedly about the intensified presence of police vehicles down the street, appearing even more ragged after Rick had sat her down to explain the robbery scenario, dinner had been ready to serve.

Now she's lounging with him on the sofa, both of their kids asleep, Alexis curled up at his side and Grace laid across the cushions with her head on Kate's thigh and her fingers fisted in Rick's jeans. She wishes she had two extra bedrooms here.

"Wish I could stay," he agrees, rolling his head along the cushioning at his neck. "You could always come home with us."

"It's nine-thirty," she murmurs, combing her fingers through the waves of Grace's hair. "Already way past her bedtime."

"Spoilsport," he mumbles, whining when she nips at his shoulder through the material of his sweater. "A violent one at that."

She hums noncommittally and lifts her free hand to mimic the one in Grace's hair, raking gently through his.

"I'm glad you're okay," she whispers, closing her eyes as his lips dust along her forehead.

"Me too. Especially since you haven't stopped touching me since you learned of my survival."

Kate huffs and knocks her forehead into his jaw, rolls her eyes.

"Let me put this one in her bed," she sighs, rubbing Grace's back and shifting from Rick's side, already missing the warmth and reassurance his touch so easily provided. "Come on, bud. Brush and bed."

Grace hums in confusion and lifts her head, looking around the darkened room. "Bedtime?"

"Yeah, you passed out on top of me during the movie," Kate teases, brushing the bangs back from Grace's forehead.

"But Rick and Alexis," she yawns, going willingly when Kate coaxes her up, rises with her to start for her bedroom.

"Alexis fell asleep too and Rick's right here," she promises, watching her daughter squint in the dim illumination the television screen offers. "We're going to see them tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Grace mumbles, slouching into Kate's side. "Too tired for teeth."

Kate sighs and hoists Grace into her arms. "Do you want gross morning breath?"

"Yeah," she mutters, eliciting an unhelpful chuckle from Rick at her back, but Grace is already nodding off against her shoulder.

"Be right back," she tells Castle as she approaches Grace's room, bumping the door open with her hip and shuffling to her bed, grateful Grace had already changed out of her street clothes and into her pajamas after dinner. "Tomorrow, you're having a shower and brushing twice."

"'kay," she slurs, huddling beneath the purple bedspread when Kate tucks her in and kisses her head.

"Love you," Kate whispers even though she can feel Grace's breathing evening out, the exhaustion of a long day dragging her under.

A long day, a terrifying day, but a good one too.

Beckett crosses the room to plug in the nightlight Grace swears she doesn't need, brightening her room with the soft glow of gold casting the shapes of stars across the ceiling, and closes the door with a quiet click as she steps out.

Castle is alone in the living room, shrugging on his coat when she returns.

"Alexis is in the bathroom," he explains, nodding towards the sound of running water she can hear. "By the way, want to bake cookies tomorrow while you guys are at the loft?"

Kate chuckles, but nods as she steps up to him, stealing the scarf from his hands and wrapping it around his neck, holding to the ends once she's done. "Sure, Castle. Gingerbread?"

"And sugar."

"Because what you need is more sugar," she mutters, releasing the edges of his scarf as she hears the door open and Alexis shuffles back to the living room, a tired smile on her lips.

"Thanks for having us tonight, Kate," his daughter states, wrapping Beckett in a quick embrace that she returns, hoping the squeeze of her arms around her shoulders offers Alexis a surge of reassurance. Ever since Castle had explained the robbery, his daughter had been understandably unsettled, burdened with what Kate suspects is guilt for not being with him and spending the day with her mother instead. "And for entertaining him for an entire day."

"Someone has to do it," Kate sighs, sharing a wink with his daughter when Castle gasps, affronted and brushing past them both.

"Mean. All you women do is gang up on me."

"Oh, just wait until Gram gets here," Alexis chuckles, drifting towards the front door after Kate lets her go.

"I'm doomed," he groans, trudging along beside Kate on the way to the door. "Does your dad want to come for dinner too? I could use some reinforcements."

"Sorry, Castle. Dad's heading to our cabin for Christmas Day," she informs him with a consoling pat of her hand to his shoulder. "Maybe next year."

"Next year, huh?" he grins, pausing in the open doorway while Alexis steps out into the hall, tugging a red beanie from her coat pocket to secure atop her head. "Planning on sticking around then, Beckett?"

His daughter pretends not to listen, but she can see the expectant flick of Alexis's eyes towards her at the question, stares up at the man challenging her in her doorway, and rises on her toes to seal a quick kiss to his mouth.

Just a brief collision of lips, innocent and almost as chaste as their first, their last, but she feels his breath catch.

"Answer enough?" she murmurs, dropping back to the soles of her flats.

"Y-yes," he stammers, and Alexis snickers at him, tucking her hands in her coat pockets and shaking her head at them.

"Honestly, you guys are ridiculous. See you tomorrow, Kate."

"Night, Lex," Beckett replies, inclining her head towards his daughter when she presses the elevator button but he remains standing in front of her. "Go home, Castle. I'll talk to you in the morning."

The parting of the elevator kick starts him into action and he nods, words crowding at his lips, but he swallows them down for the night and she's grateful for that too.

She's too emotionally drained for anything more tonight.

"Until tomorrow, Kate."

He walks backwards towards the elevator, rushing to slip in with Alexis before the doors shut, and Kate tilts her head into the frame of the door.

"Tomorrow."


	8. Chapter 8

It's the night before Christmas Eve, the fifth night in the past month that she and Grace have joined the Castles for dinner, the tenth time total since meeting that they've been to the loft overall, and Kate had done her best to decline at least a few of Rick's invitations, but she could hardly ever resist taking Grace to the place where she was learning to heal.

It had begun to feel somewhat therapeutic for Kate as well.

She just liked his company, enjoyed the opportunity to unwind after a long day at the precinct with her daughter and a fantastic meal that was always courtesy of Rick himself. And, of course, after yesterday, there was no way she could stay away now.

She doesn't want to, no longer wants to try and convince herself to either.

Tonight, she's putting the last of the dishes in the washer (against his demands that she act like a guest for once and let him clean up), loading the machine with soap while drifting towards the bar every few seconds to help Alexis with her homework.

Grace and Castle are in Rick's study, the door ajar and the laptop open on his desk, Grace perched on his office chair, pointing at the screen while Rick leans over the chair, following the direction of her index finger with a great deal of attention.

"What are they up to in there?" Kate asks aloud, sticking the last plate in the load and easing the dishwasher door shut with her hip.

"I'm not supposed to say," Alexis muses with a pursed lip smile, watching Kate with mischief brimming beneath her lashes.

"Oh, seriously? You're in on whatever it is too?" Kate huffs, earning the hum of Alexis's laughter. "They've been holed up in there since we finished baking the cookies this afternoon, would have stayed glued to the screen through dinner too if we hadn't dragged them out."

"I'm only somewhat in on it. Mostly, I'm just responsible for keeping you out here," Alexis reveals. "But I did actually need help with biology, so I'm grateful for my role in all of this."

Kate rolls her eyes, but the smile still spreads across her lips. "Glad to be of service. Stay here."

"Kate," Alexis warns, but Beckett dries off her hands with a dish towel, lifts her palms in supplication.

"I'm not going to snoop, just going to check on them," she promises, stepping out of the kitchen to approach the office, padding silently in just her socks towards the walls in the form of shelves to sneak a peek at her daughter and the man she… is just a little smitten with.

Okay, fine, she's somewhat in love with him, she can admit that.

"No, not that one," Grace giggles and Kate sighs softly, so utterly overjoyed to hear her laughter, unable to get over it and unspeakably thankful that over the past few weeks, the sound and the accompanying smiles have returned to making such regular appearances.

No matter what, she will forever owe Rick for that, for teaching her daughter the expression of joy again. For teaching her as well.

"Your mom wouldn't like that one?" he gasps, dramatic and teasing, and Kate can see Grace shaking her head through the slits of space the books on the shelves allow her.

"No, Daddy got her one of those before and she only pretended to like it," Grace informs him before the shadows roll across her face, threaten to extinguish the light. "Daddy's not… he's not coming back for Christmas."

Kate holds her breath and she thinks Castle does too, but then she hears his quiet sigh echo through the room.

"I'm sorry, bud," he murmurs, acquiring Kate's nickname for the girl, making her heart flutter.

"I don't miss him anymore," Grace whispers, but she catches a glimpse of her daughter's quivering chin. "He doesn't want me and Mommy. And I don't want him."

"I'm sure that's not true, Grace," Castle reasons, his voice gentle, understanding, disbelieving. "Who couldn't want you and your mom? You guys are two of my favorite people in the whole world."

"He said it," Grace argues, her words trembling, hiccuping with the sure sign of impending tears. "Mommy doesn't know, I didn't - I didn't want her to be upset, but I heard him. He came by our ap-partment after he forgot my birthday and he said I don't bene-benefit him. That means he doesn't want me, Rick. He didn't want to be my daddy anymore."

Kate covers her mouth and holds her breath to stop the noises of her shattering heart from forming, from escaping, the realization that Grace had been listening to that final conversation she'd had with Will nearly three months ago now punching her in the gut, threatening to send her to her knees as Grace begins to cry.

"Shh, shh, Grace," she can hear Castle soothing and when she spares another look through the tears in her eyes, the opening of books, she can see Rick standing, holding her daughter in his arms and rocking her back and forth. "Shh, sweetheart, you know what? He's crazy for saying that and even crazier if he doesn't want to be your dad."

"He doesn't," Grace sobs into Castle's shoulder, her tiny fists balled up against his back, clinging to his sweater. "He doesn't want us, doesn't love me-"

"Your mommy loves you," Castle reminds her, rubbing at her shaking spine. "And Alexis and I? We want you both. We love you both."

Grace hiccups again, quieter, her breathing beginning to slow, while Kate doesn't breathe at all. She knows he's just trying to make her daughter feel better, but her mind keeps snagging on his use of 'both'.

"You l-love us?"

"Of course," he replies, still swaying with Grace in his arms, her little girl hanging tightly to the man who is able to elicit such happiness from them both.

Shit, he really did make them both happy, didn't he?

"There's nothing wrong with you, Grace. You and Alexis are the best daughters I've ever known. Your dad left because there's something wrong with him, not you," he tells her daughter, even though he's never met Will Sorenson.

He knows enough, knows it all, and Kate drops her forehead to the edge of the shelf, finally releases a trembling breath past her lips.

"Because you and your mom benefit me and Alexis all the time. You both make me so happy," he carries on.

"We do?" Grace whimpers and Kate can hear the gentle give of the leather chair, forces another mouthful of oxygen down her throat before she lifts her head again, sees Castle leaning back in the chair with Grace cuddled to his chest.

"Why do you think I'm trying to hang out with you guys all the time?" he teases, poking Grace in the side, and her little girl laughs, watery and broken, but laughing.

"Kate?" She startles at the whisper of her name, but it's only Alexis, standing behind her with worry shining like shards of ice in her arctic eyes, blending with the knowledge. "I just wanted to make sure you knew that everything Dad's telling Grace - is true."

Kate offers her arm to the girl, lets his daughter slip in against her side, and hugs her close in a one armed embrace.

"Thank you, Alexis," she whispers back. "We love you guys too."

And it's true. Dysfunctional and strange and utterly unplanned, but this little family they were becoming means everything to her, to Grace, and it may not make sense on paper, but Kate refuses to let it go, to run from it, to lose them.

So she hugs his daughter while he hugs hers and it's all okay. It's better.

* * *

Grace falls asleep on his chest, her head tucked under his chin and her small body curled against him, the delicate skin surrounding her eyes, her nose, still blotchy and red from crying, but her face otherwise peaceful.

"Hey," Kate murmurs after Alexis has left her side to prepare for bed and she's finally entered his office to find them that way, affection swimming through her chest, mending her cracked heart.

"Hey," he smiles up at her, glancing down to Grace. "Guest bedroom?"

"Yeah," she agrees, helping him stand, but not relieving him of her daughter, walking alongside him up the stairs, tucking Grace into the bed she's grown accustomed to sleeping in, promising her she'll be there soon when she wakes disorientated for moment, asking for her mother. "Be right back, bud. Keep the bed warm for me."

"K, Momma," Grace slurs, curling on her side.

Kate kisses her cheek and nods to Rick, follows him out of the darkened room. It's not the first time they've slept over, probably won't be the last, and she almost hates how normal it feels, how seamlessly normalcy has come with the Castles.

It scares her, but… her mother did always say the most terrifying things in life were the things most worth doing.

"Castle," she calls softly when he starts towards the stairs, striding forward to catch him and sliding her palm along his cheek until his face is cradled in her hands.

"Kate," he breathes, his eyes rippling with awareness, falling to her mouth, but she's already arching on her toes and kissing his lips.

He doesn't hesitate in reciprocating, draping his hands along her waist, drawing her body into the welcoming cove of his, worshipping at her mouth with the kind of reverence that has her knees going weak, sending her sinking deeper into his embrace to remain upright.

Nearly a month she's fought the urge to kiss him, ignored the longing to kiss him again since their brief encounter under the mistletoe last week, and this - the intoxicating taste of his mouth, the explosion of sparks through her bloodstream, the leap of her heart - is exactly why.

There is no going back after this.

"You make my daughter happy," she rasps against his lips, stroking her thumb along the shell of her ear as he tries to catch his breath, continues to steal hers. "You make me happy."

"You already heard me," he murmurs, concludes, tilting his forehead to rest against hers. "You already know the feeling is mutual. You're - god, Kate, you're good for us, for me and Alexis. You guys are the best Christmas present we could have asked for."

"Getting cheesy, Castle," she hums, grinning into the fleeting kiss he grazes to her mouth. "But I'll take you for Christmas."

He chokes on a laugh and laces his arms around her waist, opens his eyes and allows her to see the blaze of electric blue consuming his irises, the sparks of gold jolting like a live wire haloing his pupils.

"I could love you, Kate," he murmurs, his lips dusting along hers with every word, and she nudges his nose with her own, unfurls her fingers along his jaw.

"I could love you too."

She kisses him again, one last time before he goes to check on his daughter and she crawls into the guest bed with hers.

She's afraid she already does.


	9. Chapter 9

The early morning light dapples across the hardwood of his floor, trips over the rise of his form beneath the sheets of his bed, and Kate remains in the doorway to his room for a long moment, appreciating the serenity of the sight. Grace is still fast asleep upstairs, Alexis too, and she knows she should seize the rare opportunity for extra rest, but she's too restless to lie in bed, cuddled up beside her daughter, for any longer.

It's Christmas Eve and it's the first year in over a decade that she's actually felt like celebrating.

"Why are you up so early?" he grumbles from the bed, his chin nudging the covers away so he can crack an eye open to see her there. His other eye slits as well, the haze of slumber clearing as he adjusts to the streaks of sunlight spilling into his room, and assesses her in a pair of his daughter's leggings and one of the t-shirts he often allowed her to borrow on the nights she stayed over. "Mm, okay, worth it."

Kate rolls her eyes and approaches him with the two steaming cups of coffee in her hands.

"Knew the coffee would wake you before I did," she muses, hesitating briefly before easing down to perch along the edge of his bed, handing him a fresh cup of the 'Christmas blend' she'd brewed a few minutes ago. "And it's eight a.m., not that early."

"For you," he scoffs, humming around his first sip and pushing up on his elbow. "Some of us actually like to sleep in on the holidays."

"At least I'm lounging, still loafing around in my pajamas," she points out, biting down on her upturned bottom lip when he reaches for the hem of his shirt at her thigh, tugging.

"Very sexy pajamas," he approves with a grin and Kate reaches out for his hair, combs her fingers through the tousled strands, taming the fringe of his bangs flopping across his forehead. "Hey, Kate?"

"Hmm?"

Castle downs another swallow of coffee while hers remains sealed to her chest, warming her bones, and ascends into a proper sitting position beside her.

"This… development in what we are," he hedges, catching her hand when it falls away from his skull, cradling her fingers in the curl of his. "I meant everything I said last night, you make me happy and I – you know that I'm already… but if you only feel the same because of what happened a couple of days ago with the whole robbery scare-"

"Castle," she sighs, understanding even if it stings, and flipping her palm in his grasp to slip her fingers between the spaces of his. "No, it's not – that incident may have proved to be a reminder as to how precious life is and prompted me to stop waiting, wasting time, but it isn't the source of the feelings I have for you. They've been here for a while now, they just scared the shit out of me most of the time."

A surprised breath of laughter bubbles past his lips, strings a matching smile across her mouth, and he rests back against the headboard in relief.

"I know the feeling," he nods, circling his thumb at her knuckle. "You scare me, how deeply in this I am with you scares me, but the love I have for you and your kid overwhelms everything else, makes it worth it."

Her breath catches ever so slightly, but he must hear the snag in her lungs, and the corner of his mouth twitches.

"Have we just gone from scared to petrified?"

"No," she huffs, but well… maybe a little. "I just didn't plan to love you back."

Castle stretches to deposit his coffee on the nightstand, fills his empty palm with the sharp bone of her hip, drawing her forward. She follows the coax of his hand, relinquishing her coffee as well and shifting onto her knees to move closer, ignoring the urge to simply straddle his lap.

"I've found that the best things in life are never necessarily planned," he murmurs and her lips quirk, her heart fluttering around in her ribcage like a bird set free.

"I used to believe the opposite of that. After my mom was murdered, the only thing I could trust in was my plans, how I intended to have things done," she explains, her gaze climbing to the windows above his bed, tracking the particles of dust dancing through the golden rays of sunlight washing over them. "But when I was pregnant with Grace… that's what made me choose that name. Will didn't get it, but my pregnancy almost felt like a grace period. I couldn't focus on my mother's case for the first time in nearly ten years, because I had to think about the baby, about her health and development. She became the most important thing, she made me heave myself up and out of the rabbit hole of my mom's murder."

"A grace period," Castle echoes, looking up at her with the wonder of understanding swirling through his eyes.

"One that never really ended," she murmurs, smiling softly. "She's been my entire world ever since."

"That's what makes you such a brilliant mom," he comments, the curve of his lips as earnest as the words, as the eyes staring up at her.

Kate sighs and gives in, uses the advantage of her knees to slide one leg over his, the sheet still between them as she straddles his lap, perches atop his thighs. He doesn't panic, doesn't exactly stop breathing, but his chest hitches, his throat rippling with a sharp swallow as his hands settle uncertain and light on her waist.

"My daughter, her health and her happiness will always be my top priority, and I never would have fathomed wanting more than that, especially when it comes to my own happiness," she continues, sealing her palms to the sides of his neck, bridging her fingers at his nape. "But when we met you guys… I never thought I'd be this happy, Castle."

The shock and arousal of her sitting in his lap fades and his hands drift to spread atop the small of her back, fingers splaying along her spine.

"It's mutual. I hope you know that," he tells her with so much conviction. "I'd always wanted someone, hoped that I could find more than just a fling or another ex-wife that I never should have married-"

She huffs, almost forgetting that he's been married twice – the flighty actress and career driven publisher who never took the time to uncover the depths of this man staring up at her with eyes brighter than the winter sky. It's been just over a month since she met him, and it feels so horribly cliché, but she's felt as if she's known him so much longer, the process of peeling away his layers, allowing him to deconstruct hers, far more painless than she would have ever imagined.

There are still pieces she has yet to unearth, but she knows enough to believe with certainty that the women of his past had overlooked a beautiful man.

"Stop grinning at me like that, I'm trying to make a serious point here," he whines and she suppresses the curl of her lips she hadn't even been aware of.

"Sorry, please continue," she murmurs, kneading gently at the back of his neck in encouragement.

"As I was saying," he begins with a glimmer of teasing in his gaze, but it quickly fades, clearing out for the sincerity of his words to seep from his eyes to the lines of his face. "I just never would have expected you, Kate. I'd begun to accept that maybe I just wasn't cut out to be in love again, especially not like this."

Her heart is hammering again, threatening to combust at any given moment, and she inhales silently through her mouth, drops her forehead to meet his.

"Like this?" she repeats.

Castle shifts a little, nervous, and she brushes her thumbs to the tender skin just below his ears.

"In a way that feels real, promising," he mumbles, his thumbs circling at the dimples of her spine. "Potentially permanent in a way it never has before."

"Mm," she hums, willing her heart to slow, remain calm, but it fails to riot this time, to crash into the bones of her ribs, still fluttering pleasantly within its confines. She hadn't been looking for a promise, for him to profess his love to her, but it spilled warmth through her blood, heated her veins, and she spent so long trying not to indulge in the idea of loving him back that it's too good to deny now. "Too soon to know that for sure, but you're not alone in that."

"I know, but I hope I'm right," he murmurs boldly, lifting into the touch of her lips dusting along his cheek.

"We'll just have to find out." She sighs when he chases her mouth, kisses her, sucking her bottom lip into the heat of his mouth, stroking the tender flesh with his tongue, and Kate cradles the back of his skull in her hands, fists her fingers in his hair. "But I wouldn't mind if you ended up being right."

"Good to know," Castle chuckles as his hands slip beneath her shirt, grazing electricity up and down her spine, frissons spreading across every inch of bare skin he encounters.

Her hips rock forward at the wonderful sear of fire through her flesh, has them both gasping.

And she wants nothing more than to let him peel the shirt from her skin, map her body with his hands, his mouth, but the sound of a key turning in his front door, the cheerful call of his name ringing through the loft, has them both going still.

"Who is that?" Kate whispers, immediately easing from his lap even as he groans in protest.

"My mother," he mutters, shoving the rumpled sheets from his legs and following her off of the bed. "The ultimate mood killer."

She grins as he stands, catches him by the hips and arches on her bare toes to claim his mouth, kissing him hard and chuckling against his mouth when he doesn't hesitate in banding his arms around her, nearly lifting her off of her feet.

"Don't worry, Castle," she breathes when they break apart, snags his hands and guides him towards the bedroom door. "It's only Christmas Eve. There's still plenty of time for Christmas miracles," she winks as he stares after her slack jawed, letting her drag him along through his office.

Kate notices the older woman in his kitchen, pouring herself a cup of coffee before she can spot them, her brilliant red hair and vibrant green dress complimenting her perfectly made up face, the familiar sapphires of blue eyes that rise from her cup at the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Oh, darling, there you… are," his mother states with intrigue, a curious smirk curling along the deep red of her lips.

"Mother," Castle greets, releasing Kate's hand with a parting squeeze as he strides into the kitchen to embrace the Martha Rodgers she's heard quite a bit about, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Merry Christmas Eve, this is-"

"Oh! I bet I can guess who you are!" Martha beams, snapping her fingers. "Katherine Beckett, is it? Richard and my granddaughter have been singing your praises for weeks. It figures some excitement would occur while I'm off touring with my students for the month."

Kate feels the blush creep along her neck at the idea of Rick and Alexis talking about her, but steps forward to shake his mother's hand and offer the older woman her best smile.

"Kate," she affirms with a nod, appreciating the firm shake of Martha's hand, the warm embrace of both of her palms when she sets her coffee down.

"It's wonderful to meet you, dear," Martha smiles, but beneath the genuine kindness, Kate can read the calculating apprehension his mother holds in her gaze as she assesses Beckett subtly from head to toe.

She sometimes forgets that Richard Castle has been used by others, by women, for his name, his money, and that his family is just as protective of him, of his heart, as he is of those he loves. Martha is simply ensuring that Kate isn't here with ulterior motives and she understands that, respects it.

And she has no problem proving her intentions, her place.

"Likewise, Rick and Alexis always have the best stories about you," she returns, withdrawing her hand to rest at her side, realizing in that moment that she's still in her pajamas, sleepwear that is partially his, and that they just came out of his bedroom together.

Way to make a first impression, Kate.

"Don't believe a word they say," Martha murmurs with a narrowed look aimed at her son. "Especially this one, terribly dramatic."

" _Me_?" Castle exclaims, shifting away from his mother to move past Kate, reaching for the cabinet of pans below. "And even if that were true, where do you think I inherited the theatrics?"

"As great of a mystery as your novels, my boy," Martha muses and Kate chuckles, pats Castle's back and starts for the stairs.

"I'm going to go wake Grace," she informs him before directing her gaze to his mom, still watching the two of them with far too much curiosity flickering in her eyes. "It was great to meet you, Martha."

"Likewise," Martha echoes. "I do hope I'll be able to meet your kiddo before you go? Unless you're spending the holiday with us?"

"Oh, no, I have to head back to my place soon, actually. My dad is joining us for Christmas Eve."

"But Kate and Grace will be here tomorrow for Christmas dinner," Castle preens while Kate rolls her eyes.

"We will, but Grace would love to meet you in the meantime. Alexis has told her so much about you, I don't doubt she'll jump at the chance," Kate tells her with a grin that has approval simmering through Martha's eyes, softening the lines etched into the skin of her face.

"Speaking of Alexis, grab her if she's not awake?" Castle asks and she nods, ascending the steps with his mother's eyes still on her back, the murmur of voices following her up the stairs, and she can't make out much, but she does hear the hum of Martha's agreement before she reaches the second floor.

"She makes you happy?"

Kate pauses, holds her breath, but he doesn't force her to starve herself of air for long.

"She does," he confirms, his voice confident as it rumbles from below, and she sighs.

He'd already told her himself, but there was a particular kind of reassurance in hearing him reveal it to someone else.

"Then I like her," Martha proclaims and Kate bites the bottom half of her smile, stops inadvertently eavesdropping, and proceeds past the final step, towards the guest bedroom.

She's surprised to find Grace already awake inside, cuddled beneath the goose down comforter she's pulled up around her shoulders and propped against a few of those sinfully soft pillows.

"Hey you," Kate greets, slipping inside the room and padding towards the bed, earning the flutter of Grace's gaze from the window she had been staring out, watching the snow fall and coat the city a blissful shade of white.

The perfect setting for Christmas.

"Morning, Momma," Grace yawns, smiling sleepily when Kate crawls onto the bed to settle beside her.

"How long have you been awake?" Kate murmurs, accepting the huddle of Grace into her lap, awake but still doused in morning drowsiness as she snuggles in close against her mother's chest.

She's still wearing the pajamas Castle had lent Kate to change her into last night, another one of his smaller t-shirts sacrificed to the cause of a Beckett without sleepwear, the black Batman t-shirt swallowing Grace up and stretching all the way down to the knees that now dig into Kate's side.

"Not long, I was watching the snow. I wanna build another snowman like we did in the park with Rick," she mumbles, her eyes closing against Kate's neck.

"Oh yeah? When did you guys do that?" Kate asks, combing her fingers through Grace's hair, unraveling the tangles that had formed overnight.

"Last week when we were waiting for you to come home, we built a big snowman in the park closest to the loft. Rick took a picture," she murmurs, rubbing at one of her eyes, likely still irritated from the tears they had shed last night.

Kate brushes the tips of her fingers along Grace's cheek, smoothes them gently to the papery thin skin below her eye. "He must have forgotten to show me. Remind him later, okay?"

Grace nods and shifts in Kate's embrace, glancing up to her with a question in her eyes that Kate can't read.

"Mom?"

Kate lowers her hand and gives Grace her full attention. "What's up, bud?"

"I… I know Rick can't be my dad, but - is it okay if I love him like he is? If - if I love him more than my real dad?"

Oh, her heart is aching, breaking and swelling simultaneously, and there's no right answer, no way to tell her daughter how to feel, and she wouldn't even if she could.

So Kate leans forward to kiss the top of Grace's head, hide the emotions threatening to swarm her eyes, and nods.

"As long as they're good people, you can love whomever you want to love, however you want to love them, Grace."

Her daughter deflates with relief, the tension draining from her thin shoulders, and she slouches into Kate's chest once more.

"I'm glad Rick is a good person," Grace sighs.

Kate chuckles, but nods along. "Yeah, he's a really good person."

"You love him too." It isn't a question, isn't Grace's usual childlike teasing either, and for a moment, she hesitates, but there's no use in hiding it. Not when her kid probably had it figured out before she did.

"I do," Kate concedes, huffing her amusement when Grace pulls back to grin up at her with far too much enthusiasm. "Still not one of your Disney movies."

"Kinda," Grace points out, but Kate shakes her head and abandons her on the bed to snag Grace's clothes from the armchair beside the small closet.

"Come on, let's get you dressed. We have to be home before Grandpa Jim gets there," she reminds her and Grace pops up from the bed, accepts the jeans Kate holds out to her.

"Are Rick and Alexis up?"

"Rick is, I'm about to go check on Alexis next so we can all have breakfast, and so _you_ can meet Martha," Kate informs her, watching Grace's head tilt to the side in question. "Alexis's Gram?"

"Oh!" Grace realizes aloud. "She's here? Alexis said she's a Broadway actress! But Rick says she's just a drama queen."

Kate laughs and allows Grace to lean on her for balance while she steps into her pants, tugs on her sweater. "Could be accurate on both ends. You'll have to meet her for yourself and see."

* * *

It's no surprise to her when Grace adores Martha Rodgers just as easily as she had Alexis and Rick a month ago during their first dinner, staring up at the actress with bright eyes that shone gold like the Christmas lights twinkling through his loft.

"You are absolutely precious, kiddo," Martha praises after breakfast while they're saying their goodbyes, patting Grace's smiling cheek with affection. "I can't wait to see you again for dinner tomorrow."

"Thank you, Ms. Rodgers," Grace responds with that shy smile of hers, but Martha waves her off.

"Oh darling, please, either Martha or well, anything but 'Ms. Rodgers'."

"She was being polite, Gram," Alexis chuckles, bending to hug Grace goodbye, wishing her a 'Merry Christmas Eve' and expressing her hopes that Santa bring everything her heart desires tonight.

"Your poor child, being exposed to my mother on Christmas Eve of all days," Castle sighs, but Kate bumps his shoulder, sways into his side.

"Shh, she already likes her," Kate chastises, failing to resist when he slides an arm around her waist while she finishes buttoning up her coat.

"Because somehow, you guys fit in perfectly with our little family, even with my mother thrown into the mix," he muses, glancing past her to check if the rest of said family was distracted as he leans in to brush a kiss to her mouth. "Until tomorrow."

Kate strokes her fingers to the bone of his jaw and presses one more kiss to his lips, already taking note of the sudden silence at their backs.

"Tomorrow," she confirms in a whisper before bracing herself, sharing a parting smile with him, and turning around to face the three mischievous grins waiting for them.

Her cheeks burn, even Castle's heating with temporary color, but Grace skips out of the loft with Kate's hand in hers, all too pleased with the developments that have occurred between her mom and Rick, even more joy spreading through her smile as they walk home through the show of Christmas decorations sparkling through the city and the snow.

"This Christmas is magical," Grace declares, swinging their hands between them while they walk the rest of the way home.

She isn't able to disagree.


	10. Chapter 10

Kate cracks an eye open at the sound of her phone buzzing, dancing to life across her nightstand, and squints against the streaks of morning light to reach for it with a sigh, answers before it can go to voicemail.

"Beckett," she mumbles, hearing a familiar hum of approval, remembering the day and the only person who would be calling her on Christmas morning.

"Merry Christmas, Kate," Castle murmurs, his voice a pleasant husk that coaxes her into awareness, gravelly as if he'd just woken up as well.

Like he'd opened his eyes, grabbed his phone, and called her first thing and mm, that sent a lovely stream of warmth cascading through her veins on this frigid December morning.

Beckett curls her knees in, cradling the phone to her ear and trying not to smile like an idiot.

"Merry Christmas, Castle. Thought you liked to sleep in during the holidays," she rasps the reminder, but he huffs on the other line.

"It's Christmas morning, silly. Who doesn't wake up early on Christmas morning?"

"Me," she yawns, closing her eyes and savoring the sound of his voice in her ear. "But I'm sure Grace will be hopping out of bed at any minute."

"I can't wait to see her face when she opens my present," he says with that childlike excitement she's come to know, and yeah, love. "And don't worry, I won't let Alexis open yours until you guys get here."

"She can open it if she wants," Kate murmurs, but Castle sputters in protest.

"Beckett, it's no fun to give a gift and not be able to watch the person open it," he points out. "Speaking of presents, did your dad like the new coffeemaker?"

"Oh, he flipped," she reveals with a grin at the memory from last night. "I mean, it didn't compare to Grace's homemade macaroni art, but it was a close second."

"I respect that," he concedes. "So good Christmas Eve?"

"Great Christmas Eve," she confirms with a soft sigh. "They're always difficult for him and me, but Grace always helps, and this year, she's just been so happy, I think it was contagious. It's been a long time since I've seen my dad smile that much."

"I know we've already talked about it and apologies aren't what you want, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry she isn't here for Christmas, Kate," he murmurs, his voice quiet, tentative, but strong like an embrace, like the one he'd given her last week when she'd cooked breakfast at his place for once and had mentioned her mom cooking similar buffets on Sundays.

It hadn't been a sorrowful comment and it hadn't been pity that'd drawn him towards her, hadn't been a touch of sympathy when he'd wrapped an arm around her from behind. It'd been a hug that had anchored her, infused her heart with extra glue so it wouldn't break or falter when it beat a little too harshly at the mention of her mom.

Castle has only ever shown her empathy where her mom is concerned, just as he is now.

"I'm sorry too," she whispers, sealing her palm to her chest, her fingers glancing the spot where her mother's ring usually finds rest. "I'm especially sorry this year, that she couldn't meet you and Alexis. She - she would have loved you, Castle."

He's quiet for a long moment, a comfortable form of silence that's over by the time the swell of remorse in her chest has subsided.

"I wish I could have known her too. From what you've told me, she was an amazing woman. Had to be to raise someone like you."

Her lips quirk and she doesn't deny the single tear that leaks from the corner of her eye, trickles into her hair.

"You're pretty amazing yourself, you know," she murmurs, hugging the spare pillow to her chest that Grace sometimes occupies on the nights she ends up crawling into her mother's bed after a nightmare or a thunder storm.

"So I've been told," he agrees, causing her huffs a laugh, exactly what she needed. "But it's a high compliment coming from you. Continuous praise would make a fine Christmas gift if you're interested."

"I'll pass."

"Pity, but do tell me, what'd you ask Santa for?"

She rolls her eyes and shifts onto her back, grins up at the ceiling. "A year of easy confessions, a raise, and more vacation days."

"Boring."

"And you?" she challenges with a scoff.

"Already have what I want. Though, you dressed in a sexy Santa suit would not go unappreciated," he muses and she chuckles, purposefully low, throaty, just to hear him go silent on the other line.

"No need to give you a heart attack on Christmas, old man."

"Oh, that is just mean," he mutters, affronted and tugging the laughter to her lips. "Calling me old and insinuating I have a weak heart. New low, Kate Beckett."

She's about to respond with her next remark when she hears the sound of socked feet on hardwood, the creak of Grace's door.

"Hey, Grace is awake, I'll see you in a few hours?"

"Of course," he answers, the teasing fading from his voice, replaced with the glee of knowing her daughter is about to experience the joy of Christmas morning. "Have fun, take a lot of pictures."

"I will," she smiles, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed, those three words on her tongue. "And Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"I - thank you, for calling," she says quietly, biting her bottom lip, but she can sense his smile even though she can't see it, and it lines her heart with a kind of reverence that only he has been able to evoke.

"Don't thank me, I just wanted to hear your voice on Christmas morning," he murmurs, so sincere that her heart shivers beneath the tickling of butterfly wings as they swarm her chest.

Next year, she hopes that it isn't just his voice she's able to experience when she wakes on Christmas Day.

"Kate, go watch your kid open presents," he prompts and she sighs, rising from the bed. "I'll see you this afternoon."

She curls her fingers around the handle of her door and eases it open with her hip, spying on her daughter as she inches towards the tree with growing anticipation. "You will. Bye Rick."

"Bye Kate."

The 'I love you' hangs unspoken between them, tangled within the cord of connection and remaining even when the line disconnects.

* * *

"Momma, why doesn't Grandpa Jim ever come with us for this part?" Grace asks later that afternoon while they pass through the familiar gates, staying on the shoveled path to avoid the glittering mounds of snow coating the grounds.

"It's still too hard for him, bud," Kate murmurs, squeezing her daughter's gloved fingers. "That's why he spends Christmas Eve with us and the actual day at the cabin most years."

Grace nods thoughtfully and swings their twined hands back and forth, the vase of flowers cradled to her tiny chest. "Because he misses her so much it hurts?"

"Yes," Kate answers, letting Grace lead. She's never blamed her dad for backing out of this tradition rather quickly; she visited her mother every few months and standing in front of her grave always pierced through Kate's chest, risked tearing open old scars.

In the beginning, she'd used the stab of grief as motivation, a physical reminder of her purpose, her drive for justice, but after Grace… it still pained her to come here, but Grace had wanted to know her grandmother in a way that went beyond pictures and memories Kate told to her like bedtime stories, and this was the closest they could get to that.

"Will it ever stop hurting?"

Kate sighs as they slow to a stop amidst the cemetery, in front of Johanna's headstone. "Not completely. But you know how when you get hurt, like that time you fell off your bike last summer and scraped your knee pretty bad?"

Grace nods, looking wholly riveted by this explanation, always responding well to metaphors, much to Rick's enthusiasm.

"Well, it took a while to heal, right? A lot of band-aids and those creams that kept it from stinging so much, and now you've got that cool scar. It'll never go away, but it doesn't hurt as badly as it did when you first got it."

"Oh," Grace breathes, glancing down to her fully healed knee, concealed beneath the thick fabric of the tights she had insisted upon wearing with her Christmas dress.

"Each year, I think Grandpa's scar hurts a tiny bit less."

"What about yours?" Grace asks, dividing her attention between Kate and the assortment of poinsettias in her grasp.

Kate exhales quietly through her mouth, calms the present ache of her heart with the steady breath.

"It still hurts," she confirms, bending to her level when Grace lifts her eyes in dismay. "But you were the best band-aid I could have asked for."

Grace sighs in relief, offers her a tentative smile, and turns towards Johanna Beckett's headstone with the flowers.

"Am I a band-aid for Grandpa Jim too?" Grace asks, stepping off the path and into the thin layer of a snow to lower the flowers to Johanna's grave, assorting them neatly.

"Of course," Kate replies, wondering if it will ever benefit Grace in any way to know that she was the reason her grandfather stopped drinking himself to death seven years ago.

"Does that mean Rick is like the cream that makes the stinging stop?"

It's an innocent question, one she hadn't expected, but she realizes Grace is simply trying to understand, maybe even wanting to ensure that Kate's heart remains patched up with as many hypothetical medical supplies as possible.

"He helps with the hurt too," Kate affirms, resisting the urge to draw out the ring tucked beneath her sweater, her coat, instead witnessing her theory be confirmed when the answer seems to reassure Grace.

"Good," she chirps, touching two fingers to her puckered lips and pressing them to the top of the marble stone.

Kate looks away, clearing her throat before the lump of emotion can clog it. "Ready, bud?"

"Yep!" Grace trots back up to her, reclaiming her hand and walking happily along Kate's side. "Hey mom?"

"Hmm?"

"I know it's not the same with Dad, but you're my band-aid when it hurts too."

Shit, her kid was totally going to make her cry on Christmas.

"Thanks, baby," she murmurs, bending sideways to press a kiss to the top of Grace's head. "Now, let's head over to Rick's, I'm starving."

"You have our presents, right?" Grace checks and Kate shows her the messenger bag she typically fills with loads of paperwork and case files and lugs from home to precinct.

"Safe and sound inside," she promises. "Still not going to tell me what you got Rick and Alexis for Christmas?"

Grace purses her lips, but it doesn't stop them from stretching into a smug little grin. "Nope. Besides, you won't tell me what you got Rick."

"I told you what I got Alexis," she reasons, guiding Grace through the cemetery gates, feeling her chest expand a little deeper as they walk down the sidewalk, the snow flurries filling her lungs.

"Fine, I'll give you a _hint_ ," Grace decides, stalling at Kate's side while she lifts her hand to the air for a taxi.

"I'll take that," Kate grins, ready to put her years as a detective to good use.

"I made their gifts all by myself," Grace announces proudly, bouncing impatiently on her toes as a cab begins to slow before them.

"You did?" she questions with feigned surprise, knowing Grace's options for gifts without her mother's help had to be limited. She still can't be sure what her daughter could have created for the Castles, but she has a pretty good idea and looks forward to watching the reveal.

"Mhmm, and I got you something too! Well, I helped Rick get you something, but he said it's from all of us," she explains, causing Kate's brow to arch.

Rick hadn't mentioned a gift for her. Sure, he had needled her about presents, her Christmas list, and what she could want for the holiday, but she had given him nothing, not wanting him to buy her anything. But if he did… she suddenly worries her 'gift' may not be adequate enough.

"Momma, the cab," Grace sing-songs, opening the door and clambering inside, tugging Kate by the hand into the backseat.

She's jarred out of her apprehension in time to inform the driver of the address to the loft, to hear Grace humming along to the Christmas music blaring from the radio, and Kate does her best to clear her mind of gift exchange concerns.

She hadn't told him she was getting him anything either and no, it may not be as great as whatever he may have found for her, but it was special and she knew him well enough at this point to know he'll love it. She isn't going to start doubting that now.


	11. Chapter 11

Martha is the one to answer the door on Christmas day and she greets them both with a vibrant smile, firm embraces, and it's then that she sees Castle over his mother's shoulder, approaching with a smile of his own.

"Merry Christmas, Rick!" Grace beams, squealing with delight when Castle scoops her up from the floor when she opens her arms for a hug, clinging to his neck as he spins her around once.

"Merry Christmas, bud," he returns, placing her back on her feet with a grin. "Did Santa treat you well?"

"Yes! And Momma did too! She got me all of my favorite books!"

"Whoa!" Castle exclaims, as if he hadn't been by her side while she'd bought the books a few weeks ago, shooting her a wink over Grace's head.

"And this dress!" Grace informs him, shimmying out of the child-sized trench coat to reveal the pretty white fabric adorned with lace and embroidered, pale blue snowflakes that sparkled and had cost more than Kate should have spent, but it was worth it to watch her girl twirling around their living room that morning.

"One of the prettiest dresses I've ever seen," Castle confirms with both thumbs up. "Your mom's getting that mother of the year award, I'd say."

"Totally," Grace agrees with a serious nod of her head.

"You have quite the pair of groupies," Martha comments with an amused quirk of her lips and Kate shakes her head.

"Seems that way," she chuckles, peering into the kitchen to see Alexis arranging a giant plate of cookies atop the island. "Wow, you guys really went all out."

"We always do," Martha affirms, holding out her hand for Grace's coat and bright red earmuffs when she shrugs it the rest of the way from her arms, hanging it in the coat closet and taking Kate's next.

"Thank you, Martha. Enjoying the day?"

His mother shuts the closet door as Grace skips into the kitchen, throwing her arms around Alexis's waist, at her full level of comfort here, and the last of the customary heartache from visiting her own mom finally fades, returning to its usual spot within the hollow space of her chest.

"Of course, Christmas is always marvelous. Wine or eggnog?"

"Oh, neither, thank you," Kate replies, smirking when Martha waves her off in exasperation.

"Stop trying to liquor everyone up to feel better about your own drinking habits, Mother," Castle teases, grinning even as she smacks his shoulder with the back of her hand while she passes.

"Stop giving me a complex on Christmas," Martha chastises, sauntering away from the two of them to join the girls in the kitchen, relieving Alexis of the massive plate of cookies and allowing Grace to help set the table.

"Misbehaving even on the most wonderful day of the year, Castle?" she sighs, but her blood heats with approval when he steps deeper into the foyer to coast his hands along her waist, fingers flirting with the hem of her soft, white sweater.

"I've been on the naughty list since childhood, why break tradition?" he shrugs, but his smile is sincere as his gaze caresses her, roams her face with far too much adoration. "I'm glad you're here. I missed you."

"You saw me yesterday morning," she points out, tapping her thumb to his mouth when his lips form a pout.

"That was more than 24 hours ago," he states, the tips of his fingers tracing patterns now, branding swirls of heat into the bare canvas of her flesh. "And I mean, I missed you all the time before this, but ever since you kissed me, showed up in my bed with coffee the next morning, I miss you a lot more."

She shakes her head, amusement dancing at the corners of her mouth, and sprinkling sparks into the arousal already stirring in her stomach, because yeah, she's missed him more too since then.

"Then do something about it," she challenges with a quirk of her brow, knowing that the second the words are out, she's damned herself.

He only has to lean in to touch her mouth, dusting his lips there before favoring her bottom lip, nipping with his teeth and soothing with his tongue.

Kate hums when he pulls her closer, curving her body within the cove of his, and tries so very hard to maintain her grip on the reins of her control, but she can't help arching into the broad wall of his chest as his tongue teases along the roof of her mouth.

"Mm, you taste like cookie dough."

"Can you stop being a detective for like two seconds?" he grumbles, causing her to laugh into his mouth, stroking the shell of his ear with her thumb.

"No, you don't really want me to anyway," she muses, opening her eyes to find his dark, but alight with the simple joy that comes with kissing her in his doorway with no mistletoe necessary.

"Touché, it does add to your hotness."

Her eyes roll, lashes catching in his before she draws back, feels his hands falling away as they both hear the tap of Grace's ankle boots with the tiny, wedge heels that made her feel so grown up.

"Momma, Rick, can we please do presents before we eat?" Grace inquires, pressing her palms together beneath her chin, imitating a prayer, and Kate sighs in contemplation, glancing to Rick for help.

They'd spent hours cooking dinner, she knows from the amount of texting the two of them had done throughout the day, and she doesn't want to corrupt their schedule, their traditions, for any reason.

"We've got at least a few minutes before dinner is totally ready," Castle points out. "And I'm kinda dying to give you your present, so-"

"Yesss," Grace celebrates, grabbing Rick's hand to tug him towards the office while Kate bends to retrieve the messenger bag she had eased from her shoulder upon entering, opening the flap to withdraw the three modest boxes adorned in reindeer wrapping paper.

One packaged neatly, the others wrapped by Grace with the endearing proof of a child's effort.

"Hey Kate, sorry I didn't say hi sooner," Alexis greets once Kate steps forward with the presents cradled in the crook of her elbow, accepting the embrace of Castle's daughter with the other.

"Hey," she smiles, smudging her cheek to the top of Alexis's head and squeezing her shoulder once before letting her go. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, I'm so glad you guys ended up coming over," Alexis gushes, hooking her arm through Kate's and leading her towards the couch.

Martha already sits perched in an armchair, sipping slowly from her wineglass, her lips curling in the corners at the sight of them, at the rustle of Rick and Grace in his study.

"Still not going to tell me what the deviants did?" Kate asks, nudging Alexis with her elbow, but she earns nothing more than the usual purse of his daughter's lips and the twinkle of amusement in the glittering ice of her eyes.

"Nope. Sworn to secrecy," Alexis states, tugging Kate down beside her on the leather sectional. "But the wait's almost over."

"Uh huh," Kate mutters, handing Alexis her present from Grace once they're seated. "Grace needed some extra time to complete her gift for you. And, as I'm sure your dad told you, mine is still under your tree."

Alexis beams at the hand-wrapped gift in her lap. "You guys really didn't have to-"

"Shh, we wanted to," Kate murmurs, reminding herself to relax when Alexis tilts her head to rest against Kate's shoulder while they wait, steadfastly ignoring Martha's knowing grin.

She just isn't used to the easygoing affection, not from someone who wasn't her daughter, or Rick. Despite how much time she's spent with the Castles, the bond she's developed with them both, Alexis had been far more cautious in accepting Kate into the fold, the countless burns of disappointment Meredith had left her with proving to be a lesson.

Trust is earned, not given, especially when it's for the trust of a heart – a child's heart – that has been held with careless hands. Grace and Alexis had each learned that lesson all too well. And while Kate had no intentions of being Alexis's mom, just as Rick had no intentions of filling the role of an absentee father for Grace, it seemed that they still managed to ease the emptiness for each child rather well.

"Okay, family, we come bearing gifts," Rick announces, his step faltering ever so slightly at the sight of Kate and his daughter, but his smile doesn't, the surprise only causing it to expand.

Alexis lifts her head and Kate squeezes her arm once more before rising, her present for Castle still remaining on the cushion at her back, but handing over Grace's gift for Rick.

"Alexis already has hers, but she hasn't opened it yet," Kate assures her as Castle trots past, heading towards mantle above the fireplace.

"Thanks, Momma," Grace whispers, bouncing on the tips of her toes with anticipation. "I hope they like my gifts."

"I know they will," Kate promises, brushing back Grace's hair out of habit before Castle can jog back into the living room.

"We usually do stockings in the mornings, but we saved yours since you couldn't be here," Castle explains, extending the bright red stocking with the fluffy white trim to Kate, letting Grace have hers as she gasps with delight.

"Oh, opening stockings is my favorite," Grace relishes, hugging the swollen thing to her chest, the action causing her gift for Rick to bump her chin. "Oh, and I made this for you."

Grace holds the stocking in one arm and offers up her gift for Castle with pink cheeks, biting her bottom lip when he accepts. Kate catches his eye and pats the spot beside her as Grace plops down at her feet, her back against her mother's shins. He sits close, his thigh flush with hers, hardly noticing the contact that has become so comfortable between them and tearing into his present from Grace with as much excitement as the child at her feet, pouring out the contents of her stocking.

"Oh wow, Grace," Castle praises, lifting the picture frame made of painted popsicle sticks. "This is so well done."

"Thank you! Momma helped me," Grace answers, a little distractedly as she begins sorting through the items from her Christmas stocking, releasing sounds of glee with each new treat, toy, and meaningful gift she reveals.

"When did you take this?" Castle murmurs, holding the frame that displays a photo of Castle, Alexis, and Grace laughing in his kitchen over gingerbread cookies, the obscure shapes they had emerged from the oven in.

"The day before yesterday. Took it on my phone while the girls were making fun of your _ninjabreadmen_ , printed it at home," she grins, leans into his arm.

"But you're not in it," he complains, stroking his thumb over the edge of the frame Grace had painted like a candy cane.

"No, but I'm here," she answers, soft and under her breath, only loud enough for him to here.

Castle's eyes rise, the smile claiming his lips so easily as he knocks his forehead against hers, makes her laugh. "Still want a picture of you, Beckett."

"I can make you another one with all of us in it!" Grace chimes in, tilting her head back against Kate's knees to stare up at them both. "I just need a picture."

"I'd be more than happy to take one," Martha volunteers and Kate stiffens.

"Oh, Martha, I'm so sorry," Kate says as she straightens to peer around Castle at his mother, who has been watching the exchange of gifts and interactions with a fond expression. "I didn't even think - if I had known that you were going to be here, I would have picked something out for you as well-"

"Darling," Martha huffs, shaking her head. "That's very kind of you, but this," she murmurs, sweeping her eyes over the four of them. "Is gift enough."

A swell of gratitude and surprise blossom through her chest, not expecting such a sentiment from his mother so soon, but Castle is nudging her knee before she can even formulate a response, nodding towards the untouched stocking in her lap.

"Speaking of gifts, you're falling behind here," he teases, his gaze flickering to Alexis who's already unwrapping hers, looking so ridiculously happy over the scarf and hat Kate had picked out for her, the homemade bracelet Grace had strung together for her the night before.

"You guys are so sweet, thank you!"

"You like it?" Grace pipes up, collecting all of her presents from the floor and depositing them back into her stocking.

"Of course, I'll wear this all the time," Alexis promises, donning the bracelet of blue and white beads with silver snowflake charms, that impressively did not so obviously look like it was made by a seven year old. "Same with the scarf and hat, they're gorgeous, Kate. Thank you."

"I'm just glad you like them," Kate murmurs, ignoring the man-child at her side, inconspicuously buzzing with impatience.

"And I love my gifts too, thank you so much, Rick!" Grace beams, ambling up from the floor to hug him, stalling his rush for Kate to empty her own stocking. "Love you."

Castle's eyes widen ever so slightly, flickering to her for reassurance, but Kate can only offer him a twitch of her lips in return.

"Love you too, monkey," he murmurs without missing a beat, hugging Grace back before she lets go, skips over to Alexis and does the same.

"Did you know-"

"Mhmm." Kate nods, directing her gaze to her stocking. "You okay with that?"

"Are you?" he counters quietly, eliciting the rise of her attention, allowing her to see the trepidation in his gaze.

"You're the best thing that's happened to my kid in a long time, Rick. I'm definitely okay with it," she murmurs, thankful for the chatter between Grace and Martha, the relative privacy she's been granted to tell him this.

Castle mimics her, nodding in return. "Then I am too. Now open your presents while I regain my manly composure."

Kate scoffs and starts emptying the stocking onto her lap, chuckling over the slew of Reese's Pieces inside, her favorite peanut butter and chocolate treat, touched that he even remembered. Hers does not contain quite as much as Grace's did, but she hadn't wanted anything to begin with and finds that the gifts inside mean more, have been thoughtfully chosen.

"So you never run out of coffee," he preens when she pulls out far too many Starbucks gift cards, a small, leather bound notebook about the size of her palm. "And you said your old detective notebook was almost filled, so I just thought…"

He shrugs, but Kate is reaching for the hand on his knee, brushing her thumb to his knuckles. "You obviously thought a lot, Castle. Thank you, this is all very sweet."

"Wait, there's still one more thing in there," he prompts, unwilling to let go of her hand and using the other to lift the stocking, shake the final, wrapped little box out and onto her lap. "There."

It's a jewelry box, black velvet with the name of a brand sewn into the top, undoubtedly expensive. But, at least, too big of a box to be a ring. Not that – it's only been a month and he would never, but still, she hesitates.

"Come on, Kate," he nudges, releasing her hand to allow her free range of motion. "This is from me, Grace, and Alexis too."

"Open it, Momma!" Grace urges, returning from her gush of gifts with Martha to witness the opening of what was apparently the most important of her presents. "I had to keep it a secret for so long."

Castle huffs. "You kept it a secret for two days."

"Two _long_ days," Grace clarifies. "So hurry and open it, please!"

"I second that," Alexis chimes in, patting her lap for Grace to perch upon.

"Yes, dear," Martha encourages. "Even I'm quite curious now."

Well, with all eyes on her, no pressure, right?

Kate takes a deep breath, ignores Castle's amusement at the action, and uses her thumb to ease the box open.

Resting inside the soft interior lies a bracelet, a kind of style she's rarely seen, and her brow furrows with interest as she relieves the jewelry with delicate fingers to study more closely. Examining the bracelet between her fingers allows her to appreciate the twined leather of the band, the beautiful but lightweight charms of gold, a subtle piece of jewelry she can actually wear, _wants_ to wear.

"I knew you liked elephants because of the ones on your desk," Castle stammers when she fails to speak, pointing to the combination of customized charms lining the leather. "And Alexis figured you for a bookworm after you guys spent hours discussing young adult fiction that one night during dinner," he continues as the tip of her finger grazes the golden book, trails along to touch the scales of justice, the tiny handcuffs, a little sprig of cherries. "Grace helped me pick them all out, choose the right band of leather."

"Cherries?" she whispers, clearing her throat, but it's no use, and she's so busy trying to hold herself together, that she barely even notices the flush of embarrassment staining his neck.

"You always smell like cherries," he confesses quietly.

"It's a modern day charm bracelet, Momma," Grace adds with a smile in her voice that Kate can't risk raising her eyes to see. If she even breathes wrong, the tears will spill over, and she can't cry in front of her daughter, in front of Castle and his family, especially not on Christmas.

No one has ever put so much thought into a gift for her, so much time and effort; no one has ever wanted to do so much for her, wanted to make her smile and ensure her happiness. No one has ever wanted her like Rick Castle does.

But he mistakes her silence for disdain.

"But if you don't - if you want something else, I can-"

"No, no," she rasps, reaching forward to lace her arm around Grace's waist and squeezing the scrawny bone of her hip, gathering her courage before she finally lifts her gaze to the man sitting beside her with so much tentative hope. "No, I love this. Thank you."

Grace hugs her neck and Kate tilts her head into her daughter's cheek, lets her go when she leans back towards Alexis.

"Yeah?" Castle murmurs, narrowing his eyes on her to make sure, subtly reaching up to brush his thumb along her cheek, dry the traitorous tears that trickle from the corner of her eyes before everyone else can see.

"Put it on me?" she asks, smiling when he swipes his thumb to the delicate skin beneath her eye before taking her hand, cradling her wrist and clasping the bracelet around the thin length of her bone, just above her father's watch.

Kate releases a shuddering breath, the joy crowding her chest, trembling through her heart.

"It's perfect," she affirms, appreciating the new, light addition of weight on her wrist.

"Alexis, I think we should remove the turkey from the oven," Martha states suddenly, ascending from her seat with suspiciously glistening eyes, but the smile on her lips still remains. "Help me?"

"Of course, Gram," Alexis murmurs, reaching over to brush a hand to Kate's wrist. "So glad you like the bracelet, Kate."

"Me too," Grace sighs, taking the hand Alexis offers to her. "I'll help with the cranberry sauce!"

Kate chuckles as Grace trails after the two redheads, so simultaneously happy with her own gifts and pleased with witnessing the unveiling of others'. They've never had a Christmas with other people, never exchanged presents with anyone but each other, and while change often unnerved Kate, this had been a refreshing one. A change she wouldn't mind being their new normal one day.

"I'm really rethinking my gift now," Kate mumbles as she caresses the elephant charm. "No way is it topping this."

"No way, I've waited so patiently," he argues, clamping his arm down on the present he's stolen from her seat and harbored in his lap. "And it's not a competition. Besides, I already know that whatever it is will be more than enough for me."

Kate rolls her eyes, thankful to feel the threat of any extra tears receding. "Lower your expectations."

"Too late for that, they're already sky high where you're concerned," he muses, peeling back the wrapping paper, and Kate sighs, rests against his side and listens to the approval rumble through his chest.

He bundles the paper and lets it fall at his feet once the plain box is revealed, removes the lid with a bated breath, and she watches his brow furrow, the puzzled expression claiming his face at the sight of his own book inside.

"Flowers For Your Grave?" he reads the title aloud, cutting his gaze to her. "Is your gift to traumatize me with the memories of reviews for this novel?"

"No, open the book," she prompts, her chin on his shoulder as he plucks the lesser known work from the box and flips it open, pausing at the title page.

 _To Kate,_

 _Never stop fighting for your own happy ending._

 _RC_

"You told me that we don't find magic, we make our own," she echoes his words from that day in the bookstore while they'd shopped for Christmas gifts, how they had stuck with her, struck her with this memory. "The first time I ever felt any kind of magic again after my mother's death was when I started reading your books. She'd had a few on her shelves and this one looked well-loved, so I read it, all your others, and you just… that's where I found my magic."

"In – my books?" he breathes, his wide eyes rising to seek her, bright blue and awed, a little misty.

"They reminded me that the good guys can still win, they inspired me to keep going, and during that time in my life… that alone was an act of magic, Rick," she confesses, dropping her gaze to the book in his hands. "And when I took that book to your signing during my last year in the Academy and you smiled up at me, told me not to give up… I know you probably said it to everyone that day, that you didn't know me or my story and I was just another face, but it meant everything to me then."

He sits dumbstruck, their daughters chattering in the kitchen while Martha begins serving food onto plates, and she knows they need to join their family, but she can't help seizing the opportunity to tell him everything, ensure that he knows, let it all spill free from her chest.

"I never would have imagined you being more to me, meaning more to me even more now. Not just your words, but you," she murmurs, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're an amazing man with a beautiful heart and I – I fell in love with you, Castle."

"Kate," he rasps, lowering the book back to its box, cupping her face in his large palms and she lifts into the seal of his lips over hers, the ardent touch of his mouth, sliding her fingers to fit through his atop her cheeks.

"I love you," he whispers, mumbling the words like a secret against her lips.

She smiles against his mouth, feels his bloom beneath hers.

"Momma, Rick, come on! Your dinner's going to get cold," Grace calls from the table, and Kate chuckles, reluctantly draws back from this unintentional bubble they created on the couch.

"And you told me not to hope for a Christmas miracle," he tisks, teasing even though his voice is an octave too low, too husky, and Kate bumps their noses before forcing herself to rise and drag him along with her to the table.


	12. Chapter 12

"You're staying over, right?" Castle inquires after dinner, loading dishes into the washer at her side, no longer fighting her on it.

"I hadn't necessarily planned to," she murmurs, sneaking a peek at Alexis and Grace cuddled on the couch with Martha, each girl on either side of the older woman while _Miracle on 34_ _th_ _Street_ plays on the projector screen. "But I'd like to," Kate admits, her fingers flirting with his as she deposits the last dish onto the rack. "And I may have packed pajamas and clothes for Grace."

He laughs in triumph. "You totally _had_ planned to."

"I had _prepared_ to, just in case," she corrects with a smirk. "But there was no extra room in that bag for my stuff, so I'll be needing a donation of a t-shirt and sweats once again."

"Your wish, my command," he grins, starting up the dishwasher while she dries her hands.

Her phone buzzes in her back pocket as the machine begins to rumble and Kate withdraws the device, expecting another reply from her dad to their ongoing conversation, but no, it's a number she hasn't seen on her screen in months.

 _Tell Grace I said Merry Christmas. Hope you guys had a good one._

"Kate?" She glances up at concern in Castle's voice, echoed in his eyes, and blows out the breath she had inadvertently been holding. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, just – Will texted me, wants me to pass along a 'Merry Christmas' to Grace."

Castle fails to hide his scowl, and the last thing she wants is to be petty, but the way Rick has become so protective of them, of Grace's fragile heart where Will is concerned, has her stepping into him, grazing her lips to the skin of his throat.

"Hate that guy."

"You don't know him."

"I know enough," he growls under his breath, but his knuckles are soothing along her spine when his arm wraps around her waist. "Anyone who makes your life harder and makes that little girl cry is not someone I'm going to offer the benefit of the doubt to."

She sighs and presses a softer kiss to his neck, nuzzles the spot behind his ear. "I'll tell her in the morning. I don't want - she's had such a good day."

"You may have to tell her in the morning regardless. Your child has a habit of passing out in my home without warning," Castle chuckles, nodding towards the living room, where they can both see Grace's head in Martha's lap, her back rising and falling in a steady rhythm. "I'll carry her up in a minute."

"Thanks," Kate mumbles, hooking her thumbs in his back belt loops, lowering her head to his shoulder. "You've been more of a dad to my kid in the past month than her actual father has been in the last seven years."

Castle shrugs, the words hardly fazing him in the way that would terrify most men, but he understood, just as he has since the beginning.

"She makes it easy," he points out, and she can't argue with that. "You raised an incredible girl no matter what kind of odds you guys were up against. One of the reasons it was so easy to love her, fall in love with you."

The way he says it, so blatant and without hesitation, has her breath catching before it floods through her lungs once more.

"Yeah, well, you make it pretty easy to do the same."

"I knew my skills as a father combined with my ruggedly handsome good looks would hook you."

Her eyes roll, but she laughs into his neck, tilts her head back when he lifts a hand to her cheek and lets him taste the smile on her lips.

"Now, grab the bag with her pajamas and let's carry your kid to bed."

Martha helps them hoist Grace from the sofa, smoothing a hand along the little girl's spine when she instinctively curls into Rick, her eyes fond when they flicker towards Kate.

"I should probably say my goodbyes for the evening," his mother announces, embracing Alexis and promising to return for breakfast, pecking Rick on the cheek and pulling Kate into a surprisingly firm hug.

"It's been a true pleasure to meet you, Katherine. I do hope to be seeing more of you and Grace," she professes, her gaze flickering between her and Rick, but there is no good natured teasing present this time.

Martha Rodgers looks… proud.

"Pretty sure Kate and this one are going to be here pretty often," Castle chuckles, swaying with Grace in his arms.

"Glad to hear it. Also, Katherine, since I too failed to prepare a gift for you, browse the Broadway showings when you have the time and let me know if there's anything you'd like to see. I'll get you tickets in a heartbeat," Martha winks and Kate smiles back, touched by the thoughtfulness, the acceptance.

"Thanks, Martha. I'd honestly love that."

"Wonderful," his mother claps, soundlessly to avoid waking Grace, and hooks an arm in Alexis's as she saunters towards the front door, sharing quiet laughter with her granddaughter while Rick and Kate start for the stairs.

Kate changes Grace into a t-shirt with practiced ease, handing off her holiday dress to Rick, and failing to elicit awareness from her tuckered out little girl until she's tucking her in. Grace's eyes flutter open for only a moment, dragging between the two of them.

"Back to sleep, bud," she whispers, pressing her lips to Grace's forehead.

"Merry Christmas," Grace slurs, turning into the extra peck of a kiss she earns to the top of her head from Rick. "Love you guys."

"We love you too, kiddo," Castle sighs out, and when Kate glances to him in the darkness of the guest bedroom, she sees that he means it.

Sees with certainty that this little family they've inadvertently created is real, solidified within the last few days, and only growing in strength with time.

"What?" Castle whispers when he catches her staring, but Kate just shakes her head, standing from the bedside and reaching for his hand.

He waits until she leads him out of the room and eases the door shut to grin at her.

"You were totally staring at me with starry eyes."

Kate groans and shakes off the grip of his fingers, abandons him for the stairs. "You two are the worst."

"Him and Grace or him and me?" Alexis calls from the sofa, sipping on her final cup of hot chocolate for the night.

"Him and Grace. You're the only other mature one around here," Kate mumbles, grinning at how his daughter remains glued to the new Kindle in her grasp; she knew Alexis would love that gift.

"Hey, Grace and I are mature," he argues, snagging one of the leftover cookies from the table as he follows her into the living room, helping her gather up gifts and discarded wrapping paper from the floor, Alexis powering down her eBook to help them. "You two are just too uptight."

He doesn't have time to avoid the balls of wrapping paper they toss at him for that.

"I'm not a big fan of you two teaming up," he huffs, bending to retrieve the bundled holiday giftwrap that had smacked him in the chest.

"Deal with it, babe," she chuckles, earning far too much delight in his gaze at the endearment.

Alexis begins yawning by nine o'clock, growing sluggish and eventually giving up the fight, hugging them both and expressing gratitude for her gifts, for making the holiday special this year.

"Alexis," Kate murmurs when his daughter looks at her with so much appreciation, too much. "I didn't-"

"Listen," Alexis sighs while her dad is in his office, standing with Kate at the foot of the stairs, much like the first time she'd ever had a meaningful conversation with the teenager. "It's been me and him for so long, with Gram in and out of the equation, and I was happy with that, I didn't want it to change. All I've ever wanted for my dad is happiness, but I never necessarily embraced the idea of someone new, you know?"

Kate nods, even though her heart is thumping and her nerves are alive in her stomach. Walking away from this, from him, would destroy what has become a vital piece of her, physically pains her to think about, but if Alexis were to express any form of discomfort with her presence, her place in their family, then Kate would back off. Just like she knows Castle would for her daughter.

"But when we met you and Grace… you guys just _fit_ with us. You didn't make me feel left out or awkward and I never wanted a sibling, but now, with Grace - it's like having a little sister and I love her." Alexis's smile, the genuine affection glimmering in the sapphires of her eyes, almost brings tears to Kate's. "And you - you always listen to me and you care and I - I'm just so glad we met you," Alexis finishes her ramble with a short puff of an exhale. "I'm glad you came for Christmas."

"Jeez, you're all dead set on making me cry today, aren't you?" Kate mutters, hooking an arm around Alexis's shoulders while his daughter laughs at her.

"No, not my intention," Alexis chuckles, returning Kate's embrace with a firm squeeze. "But one more thing?"

"Hmm?"

Alexis takes a step back, her hand on the railing. "All I've ever wanted for my dad is happiness," she repeats. "Thank you for being such a great source of that."

"Pumpkin, still here?" Rick calls from the doorway of his office and Kate quickly cuts her gaze to the floor, blinks a few times until she's sure the chances of gathering moisture have dissipated. "Want me to come serenade you with Christmas lullabies after all?"

"No, Dad," Alexis grins, shooting Kate that secret smile she wears so well before turning back towards the stairs. "Just telling Kate goodnight."

"I'll see you in the morning," Kate murmurs, wrapping her arms around herself as Alexis jogs up the stairs, feeling the warmth of Castle at her back the second the girl's bedroom door clicks shut. "How much of that did you hear?"

"Only enough to know I have a wonderful daughter," he shrugs, his palms melding at her hips for a moment before his arms slip around her waist, and Kate closes her eyes, leans back into the broad wall of his chest.

She'd noticed it long before, but rarely has she had the chance to truly appreciate the strength in his body, the defined muscles in his arms and the breadth of his chest; her body fits so well against his, slotting into place so effortlessly. It has her blood heating, her skin flushing beneath the too thick fabric of her sweater, a conflicting swell of need for him to let her go and pull her closer.

"Nothing changes just because we've said the words, you know," he muses suddenly, apparently mistaking her silence for apprehension over Alexis's words, and her eyes flutter open, her head tilting into his cheek. "We're still taking Grace to the zoo next week and you're still going to placate me when Alexis eventually goes on her first date with that boy from school she's been telling me about-"

"What's your point, Castle?" she chuckles, unwinding her arms to wiggle her fingers between his atop her abdomen.

"Just that we're still us. I know everything happened kinda fast and that our kids are involved and I just didn't want you to-"

"I'm in this," she interrupts, squeezing his fingers, feeling his heartbeat at the blade of her shoulder. "Just as invested as our kids are, as you."

He releases a sigh, drops his head to her shoulder, and Kate turns her face into his temple, presses her lips there.

"I actually think we're more now, that saying the words did change things," she admits, her nose brushing his eyebrow, her heart settling into the same calming rhythm his has found. And belatedly, she thinks, her daughter was right – if Grace was a band-aid, Castle was a wonderful healing gel to the jagged edges of leftover grief from losing her mother, never meant to fill the hollow space, but aiding her daughter in making it far less gaping, far less painful. "Loving you only makes it better."

* * *

Kate lies with Grace for a while later that night, stroking fingers through her daughter's hair, gazing out the window into the snow dusted city, the glittering night sky scattered with the stars in the distance. Castle had kissed her goodnight not long after Alexis had disappeared into her room, not long after they had murmured soft confessions at the bottom of the stairs, whispering a final "Merry Christmas" against her lips.

Today was the best Christmas she and her daughter have experienced in years, potentially their best Christmas _ever_ , and there's nothing more she could ask for, nothing she could want, but the sensation rioting through her chest fails to cease, beating like fists against the cage of her ribs, wanting out.

She should sleep, but she can't, not yet, the restlessness too strong, so she dusts a kiss to Grace's forehead and slips from the guest bed, adjusts the blankets over Grace to ensure she stays warm and comfortable before she goes.

Kate tiptoes down the stairs, not expecting anyone in the household to be awake after everyone had retired to their rooms before ten, exhausted by the day, and it was now nearing midnight.

But she's still drawn to the moonlit space of his office, the gentle glow of golden light spilling from the open door of his bedroom.

She isn't the only one awake after all.

"Reading your own book, Castle?"

His eyes fly up from the page to see her in the doorway, the smile spreading across his lips, no teasing or amusement, just happy to see her and overjoyed by her present, apparently.

"Hey, you're still awake. But no, reading the comments you wrote in my book," he quips, nodding to the page. "Had you done this recently or back when you first read it?"

"A mix of both," Kate reveals, strolling around to the empty side of his bed and crawling onto the free space next to him, peering over his shoulder to check the page number. "I was just randomly jotting down thoughts the first time. When I decided to share this with you, I read through it again, did the same thing."

"You're clever," he murmurs, tapping his thumb to the scribble of her pencil on the page.

 _How does wind gather up hair, Castle? Explain to me._

"Intelligent too. I should fire my actual editor and hire you."

Kate shakes her head. "Nah, that would take the fun out of it. I really enjoyed going through it this time, wrote down the things I would ask or say if you'd been sitting right beside me while I read."

"The perks of being intimately acquainted with your favorite author."

"Who said anything about favorites?" she muses, smirking at his scowl of indignation, kissing the corner of his disgruntled mouth to feel it twitch beneath her lips.

"You want this?"

Kate pauses, her breath stuttering in her chest, her heart in her throat blocking the airway.

"Oh, Kate." His ear turn an adorable shade of pink. "I – I mean the book. Did you want the book back?" he inquires with a nervous laugh. "I mean, I love this, but I know it was your mom's and-"

"No, I want you to keep it." Kate explains, curling her knees into the side of his thigh, swallowing hard to dispel the mortification, the stubborn heat curling in her stomach. "Keep it for me."

"As long as I have this, sounds like you'll be stuck with me," he muses, easing the book shut. "You okay?"

"Hmm? Of course. Surprised you were awake, actually," she murmurs, following the stretch of his hand as he places the book atop his nightstand.

"Long, exciting day leaves a lot on my mind. You?"

Kate shrugs, snagging the upturned curve of her bottom lip with her teeth when he laces an arm around her, holds her against his side.

"I just wanted – I wanted to be here," she breathes, noticing the gentle stutter of his fingers as they trace up and down her arm.

When she says no more, unsure where she wants this conversation to go, if she wants a conversation at all, Castle shifts, extending his arm to turn off the lamp, bathing them in the spill of city lights that dapple through his window.

"Then stay," is all he says, pulling back the sheets his lower body had been tucked beneath, coaxing her to slide beneath, and Kate finds it all too appealing to drape her body along his side when he descends to his back, to curl her leg over his thigh and rest her head on his chest, just listen to his heart.

It's been so long, longer than she can even remember, since she's innocently lain with another person, trading heartbeats and secrets, life stories, late into the night, until her words are threatening to slur and the pleasant husk of his voice is on the cusp of lulling her to sleep.

"Mm, you may end up with a different kind of jewelry in your stocking next year," he murmurs when she thanks him again for the bracelet, lazily stroking her gaze over the soft shine of it in the darkness.

Oh, but that drags her back towards the shore of consciousness for a little while longer.

"Don't you dare," she warns in a mumble, listening to him release a quiet chuckle that rumbles through his chest, hums against her ear.

But deep down, even though it has her heart skipping beats at the thought, she already knows what she'll do if she's spending the next Christmas with him, already knows what she'd say if she were to find a ring in her stocking.

"You're thinking about it."

"Am not," she mutters, but she is – she's imagining things that shouldn't even be crossing her mind. A ring in her stocking, a wedding to follow, her and her daughter part of a stable family, a happy family with potential to grow. "So what if I am?"

"Just don't overthink it," he murmurs, his fingers dancing up and down her spine. "I'm not in a rush."

"No?" she hums, splaying her palm at his sternum, the rise and expansion of his bones beneath her touch, the ripple of his skin, mesmerizing.

"I get to love you, Kate. I get to have you and your kid here. Everything else will happen in the time it's supposed to, but right now? I couldn't ask for anything else."

"Good answer," she whispers, ascending onto her elbow to grace a kiss to his lips, breathing out a sigh of approval when he chases her mouth as she returns to her side, urging him to follow.

Her body had grown loose beside him, curves and angles melded so comfortably against his, but every inch of her comes alive without hesitation at his touch, the yearning for it so strong after what has felt like so long, too long resisting what she wants.

"Just want you," she breathes, her heart picking up speed in her chest, feeling as if it may combust, and he's barely even touched her.

"For Christmas?"

Kate huffs against his mouth, teases his upper lip between her teeth. "For a lot more than that, a lot longer."

"Good answer," he echoes, helping her ease the t-shirt over his head, his own breath stuttering when her hands explore the bared expanse of his skin, tracing over ridges of bone and planes of flesh, absorbing the heat emanating from his body against her palms as they trail up his abdomen, over his chest and thundering heart.

"Castle," she murmurs, brushing the tips of her fingers along his jaw and arching into the haven of his body above her, gasping at the press of his hips, the bloom of fire that spreads from the graze of his hand beneath her shirt.

"Really is the best Christmas ever," he whispers, his lips a smile against hers, and then she's drawing him down, making promises with the seal of her mouth and the rise of her body, feeling certainty flush through her system with every touch.

He felt like coming home to a refuge she'd never known she'd been seeking, a place she never knew she could belong, be happy.

And there's no way to predict the future, to ensure that no more heartbreak would befall her or her daughter, but she trusted him, trusted in this thing they had built between them, this little family. And it had her believing without much doubt that she and Grace would be here for a long while, that they would be here for their next Christmas.


	13. Chapter 13

**Epilogue**

* * *

"Momma." Kate's brow furrows as consciousness swarms her brain, the tiny hand at her shoulder shaking her awake. "Momma, wake up. Santa came!"

"Lily," Grace sighs, her bare feet padding on the bedroom floor, her knee dipping into the bed by Kate's hip. "I said to wait."

"You take too long, Gracie," Lily complains in a whisper, as quietly as a four year old possibly can, and Kate blinks her eyes open to see her two girls balanced above her, Grace with a large, snowman shaped cup in her grasp. "Oh look, Momma's awake!"

"Yes, Momma's awake," Kate rasps, shifting onto her back and grinning as Lily topples onto her lap with a grin, ambling up against Kate's side and practically buzzing with excitement. "Morning, Peanut. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas! Santa was here!" Lily exclaims, bouncing on the bed that Kate drags Grace onto, tugging her teenager to bracket her side, opposite of Lily.

Grace sets the coffee she had brought for Kate on the nightstand before it can spill and climbs onto the bed, snuggles into her mother's side, just like always.

"Lexi's gonna be here too, Daddy said! And Gram, and Grandpa Jim, and-"

"I know, we're going to have quite the busy day, huh?" Kate murmurs, sitting up and wrapping her arm around Grace, brushing Lily's hair back with her other hand, but her youngest just can't remain still.

"C'mon, Momma! Daddy said I gotta wait for you," Lily urges, tugging on Kate's hand.

"Okay, okay, you head back out there and Grace and I will be right behind you."

"Kay!" Lily pops off of the bed, nearly tripping in her haste to race from her parents' room, back towards the living room and the massive Christmas tree, where all of Santa's presents lie.

"Merry Christmas, bud," Kate murmurs before the two of them can follow, welcoming her daughter's embrace, grateful her fourteen year old still comes to her for hugs, for talks, both serious and not, that they have the kind of relationship Kate once had with her own mother.

"Merry Christmas, Mom," Grace smiles, shifting to reach for the coffee. "Here, try. Dad helped me perfect it."

Kate accepts the mug and takes a long sip, humming at the rich brew, the hint of peppermint Castle always added to her morning coffee – even if it is decaf this year – without fail during the winter months.

"Definitely perfect," she confirms with a proud smile, nudging Grace with her hip while she slips her legs from the sheets. "You haven't opened your presents from Santa, have you?"

"No," Grace chuckles, but she can see the excitement swirling through her daughter's eyes like it does every year, no matter how old she grows. The magic of Christmas never seems to fade, especially not for Grace. "Been waiting for you, sleepy."

"I sleep in until eight one day of the year and everyone loses their mind," Kate grumbles, shuffling with Grace through Castle's office, grinning at her daughter's vibrant blue, snowflake pajamas. So mature, but still a kid.

"There you guys are," Castle proclaims from the living room the moment they walk through the door, his eyes sparkling like a child's on Christmas morning, never failing to enjoy it as much as the kids. "Lil's about to combust."

"Am not. I can be patient," Lily argues, not so convincingly as she bounces on her toes at Castle's side.

"Well, the wait is over, time for presents," Kate promises, sharing a smile with Castle when Grace trots on ahead to join Lily beside the tree, folding her legs beneath her to sit next to her little sister.

Rick plops down on the couch, content to watch the girls tear into their gifts as Kate joins him, settling in close and nestling into his side when he opens his arm to her.

Lily squeals over every single gift she unveils, hugging each item to her chest, while Grace opens each of her presents with a quiet awe. That is, until she unwraps the guitar they'd picked out for her in late November - a slightly smaller version of the instrument, a good choice for a beginner, much like the one Kate once had at her age.

Grace gasps and lifts her wide eyes to them, jumping up from the floor to crash into them both. Castle catches her with a grunt as Kate laughs, squeezing Grace's hip to balance her.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," she gushes, arms hooked around both of their necks, kisses pressed to both of their cheeks, the guitar still grasped firmly in her fingers and cradled to her chest when she pulls back to stand in front of them. "Oh, I love it."

"When do I get serenaded?" Castle prompts, grinning at the smile on Grace's face.

"As soon as you find me a teacher?"

"Already done, bud. Lessons included," Kate promises and Grace bounce on her toes.

"Gracie's gonna be a superstar?" Lily inquires, staring up at her big sister with bright eyed admiration.

"She's already a superstar," Rick points out and even though it's been years, seven to be exact, Kate still watches the delight ripple through Grace's gaze at Castle's praise, at the boost to her self-confidence.

It's been seven years since they'd met, five since Kate and Rick had married, and she never grows tired of seeing her older daughter like this, never tires of the family they've created altogether.

"Thanks, Dad," she whispers, swooping in to hug him once more, squeezing his neck and letting Rick sway her in his embrace for a long moment.

He wasn't her father, not biologically, but he is her dad. Both sentimentally and legally since he'd signed the adoption papers when Grace was ten, but she'd been referring to him as a parent long before then.

They haven't heard from Will in a while now, haven't seen him in even longer; he writes sometimes, offers his well-wishes, but Grace had mentioned once that he felt more like a distant relative who sent her money on her birthday. Rick was the one who conspired with her mom to throw her parties, make each milestone in their daughters' lives special.

"I don't miss him, I don't think I ever knew him enough to miss him," Grace told her a few years ago when Kate had sat down to talk with her about it for the first time in too long, when Meredith had dropped in unexpectedly to whisk Alexis away for a little while. "I used to, but I had you, Momma. I always had you and now we have Rick and Alexis, and soon we'll have Lily," she'd smiled, more excited than Kate would have thought to have a baby sister on the way. "I have no reason to miss him when I already have all the family I want. When I have a dad who loves me more than he could."

Will had rarely ever come up again after that.

Grace skips back towards the tree, drops back to the floor beside Lily, helping her free one of her new toys from the complicated packaging.

"Here." Kate swings her gaze from her daughters at the murmur of Castle's voice, a question on her lips when he holds out a palm sized box to her, dragging her brow into a furrow.

"You and I exchanged gifts last night," she reminds him with a reproachful look, but he waves her off.

"I wanted to wait for Christmas morning to give you this one," he insists, nudging the box into her hands until she accepts it with a sigh.

She doesn't know what to expect when she eases the lid from the jewelry box - earrings, another charm for the bracelet that never leaves her wrist, perhaps a ring or a slim necklace, but certainly not a key.

"You bought me a car?" she tries, smirking when he chuckles at her, but Rick shakes his head, tentative hope blooming in the soft blues of his eyes.

"It's… do you remember the Brownstone we visited? The one they said already had a buyer cinched in?"

Kate clutches the key in her palm. "No way. The - the four bedroom with the space in the back for a yard?"

Castle nods, brushes his knuckles to her side, to the barely forming bump of her stomach.

"Other buyer backed out," he reveals and her heart stops, stomach flipping. "It's ours if we want it."

"Castle," she breathes, banding her arms around his neck. Ever since they had found out she was pregnant, they'd been talking about searching for a new place, a bigger one with enough space for the kids, for Alexis and Martha when they stayed over.

She loved the loft, probably as much as he did by now, and it would always be home; they were simply beginning to outgrow it.

"You're happy?" Rick asks, lips brushing her ear, and Kate pulls back, dropping her forehead to rest against his.

Grace is showing Lily chords on the guitar, even if her baby sister is too young to understand, and Lily listens with rapt attention, hugging the stuffed dragon Rick had been unable to resist shoving under the tree to her chest, the lights on the branches illuminating the room, decorations glittering all around them, and Kate smiles, savors this second of solitude to soak in the joy that so easily spills through the loft on her favorite holiday.

She's happier than she ever could have hoped for.

"Of course I'm happy," she whispers, brushing her thumb to the comforting cadence of his pulse beneath her fingertip.

"Good. Merry Christmas, love," he murmurs, lifting his chin to seal a kiss to her forehead.

She catches his lips in a proper kiss in answer, smiling against his mouth, smiling so much throughout these last few years that her cheeks begin to ache with ease, and raising a hand to scratch at the stubble along his jaw. "Merry Christmas."

* * *

 _Prompt: "AU meeting. After her father left the family, Kate's young daughter no longer smiles or laughs about anything. But one day they see Castle clowning in public with his daughter and Kate's daughter burst out laughing at his antics. Kate is so desperate to keep her daughter laughing that she quickly approaches him in order to introduce herself and hope they can hangout."_

* * *

 **A/N: I owe so much love and gratitude to Nadia for the beautiful cover art, to Alex who took the time to read over each and every chapter and provide me with such valuable feedback every step of the way (and for making the process of writing this story even more fun), and of course, to all who read, reviewed, and sent me too many lovely messages to count. Writing this fic was a true pleasure and it's been a genuine privilege to be able to share it with you.**

 **Again, thank you and I'm wishing everyone the happiest of holidays.**


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